Monday, August 22, 2011

Welcome IComLeavWe

Hi, ya'll!

I'm Jem. 41 years old. Just got a positive beta yesterday (325 at 14dpo - yippee!) and I'm walking on air. Actually, I'm a more than a little uncomfortable, as I stim really really well - Not to brag (okay, maybe just a little),  but I had 13 follicles on my right side and 5 on my left while stimming. I feel very, very full. My IUI Coordinator, Nurse S, explained that all those follicles are filled with fluid (thus the full feeling), secreting progesterone, thus the cramping. I'm to take it easy (no rigorous exercise, no sex).

We've already done a slew of IVFs, plus one FET, and because of Mr. Jem's severe male factor IF, we're now using donor sperm. I couldn't face another IVF, so we did IUI.

So anyways, here I sit, in between my first and second betas. I'm on pins and needles until my second beta tomorrow. I was a bit afraid the number was "too high" and I might have an ectopic, but Nurse S reassured me.

Wow, it feels like this is all happening so fast - okay, not really, when you consider Mr. Jem and I really started TTC Jan 2007, when I was 37. All the same, this is blowing my mind. 

IF has been really hard on Mr. Jem and me, on our marriage. We are working hard to communicate better, to share more, to really be there for each other. We're seeing a marriage counselor once a week, which really helps.

So, you are all caught up now.

Question for you: How has IF actually BENEFITED your relationship with your significant other (assuming you have one), or with yourself.

My answer: I used to be ambivalent about becoming a mom, but now am 100% sure that I want to parent, that I'll be a great mom, that this is what I want for my life, for my life with Mr. Jem. I had a very chaotic childhood and it took years of personal counseling and work to be at peace with it. Now I want to be a mother myself.

~Jem

7 comments:

ladybug said...

Congrats on your BFP!!! I am turning 41 in 3 wks and freaking out. We've been trying TTC'ing for our 1st since 08. (late bloomer!) and have blood clotting issues and just found out my hubby and i have many genetic matches from dr. braverman. did u wind up doing the intralipids and neupogen or not? i am doing intralipids and neupogen. had one chemical pregnancy with that protocol. (That's my 6th miscarriage..can get pregnant but can't keep it it seems.) Best of luck on beta #2!!!

Aly said...

Congrats on your BFP!!! So happy for you! I'll keep my fingers crossed for a perfectly doubling beta for you!

Happy ICLW!!

Aly

Bella said...

Hi Jem! Found you through the Lemons... Just caught up on your whole blog! So glad for this first bit of great news. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Marissa said...

I have a really hard time accepting help from anyone, especially emotional health. To say, "I cannot get through this on my own, I need you to do X" is...I just feel like such a personal failure. (Even though I don't judge others for that--it's totally about me, and needing to "be strong" and such.) IF has been good for us in that I've gotten much better at asking my husband for help, and for accepting the help he offers. This has been good for us, because my husband is a total care-taker and it hurts his feelings (which is to say, pisses him off and/or makes him feel less of a man) when I reject his help...or just never ask for it and then fall to peices.

Good question!!

Really excited for your next beta and, more awesomely, your ultrasound!!

Jessica Anne said...

I'm so happy for you and Mr. Jem! The first beta was spectacular and I can't wait for your second!!!

To answer your question... My DH and I have really grown closer in our qwest for a baby. Now that we are finally preggo we are just so thankful for these babies and are really able to connect to them and to eachother more than we probably would have before.


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Mrs. Gamgee said...

Great question...

I think IF has brought my Beloved and I closer by forcing us to face fear and grief together. Facing our two losses and a slightly challenging pregnancy has taught us that we are stronger together than apart. And yes, communication really is key in all of it... we had to learn that we grieve differently, but no less intensely, and that there are times when we have to force ourselves to be honest about our weakness and vulnerability.

Kate said...

IF gave me a lot of things, good and bad. I wouldn't have found my cancer without the u/s that accompany IVF and I wouldn't have some of the friends I have without it. It taught me to cherish those friends.