Last night Mr. Jem and I went to our weekly marriage counseling session. We’ve been getting very valuable help ironing out how to communicate better, how to understand each other AND get our needs met. We’ve come a long way since we started seeing this woman. We still have a long way to go.
One thing we discussed was the current cycle. Mr. Jem told J, our therapist, “Jem doesn’t think this cycle worked.” Her response: “Hmm. Instead of lowering your expectations or being giddily convinced it worked, how about just saying, ‘I don’t know?’ What would that feel like?”
Bloody brilliant woman!
So, here I set 11 days past ovulation and IUI with donor sperm, not knowing if the cycle worked, if I’m pregnant or not. And I’m okay with this uncertainty. I’m just “being” with it. It just is.
~Zen Jem
6 comments:
So glad to hear of your progress with marriage counseling. It did wonders for Brian and I last year. Part of me thinks couple should do misc stints in counseling, whether there are issues bubbling or not. It's just such a great thing to do for each other - no, it's not fun when you're in the thick of it, and yes it's a lot of hard work, but it's so cool when you start to see and FEEL real progress.
Cheers to you both!
Your therapist is seriously a genius. Sometimes all you need is an outside perspective, I guess.
I have a hard time deciding what I want to eat when I'm out at a restaurant. I'll agonize and hem and haw. Then one day, my husband said to me, "you will eat again." It was infinitely enlightening. I think this is the IF equivalent to that.
Being "Zen" is so hard. I struggle with that all the time. McRuger is a master at being "Zen" about things...and I get jealous!
Sounds like good things are happening with you and Mr Jem!! Congrats.
Brilliant. Sometimes the simplest thoughts are so hard to come by. Hoping that you do know soon and that it worked.. But for the time being, glad that you are all zen and shit :-)
I'm so glad to hear the counseling is helping you guys. Best of luck in a couple days!
AFter our first failed IVF C and I started seeing an IF therapist and we love her! It has helped a lot when communicating and realizing why we each react and think what we do.
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