Thursday, August 11, 2011

dIUI: 4dpIUI: Progesterone blues

One of the side-effects of taking progesterone, in addition to sore breasts, is "depressed mood" and boy have I been feeling it. It's like all hope has been drained from my body. Monday I was feeling good and now on Thursday I'm limp with indifference and just want to curl into a ball and sleep.

Tuesday night I hosted my local Resolve group. We had a small group, which was intimate and nice. Mr. Jem hid in our office until the very end when he came out to say hello. I was the only one actively cycling, in my 2WW. It was hard to hear their enthusiasm for my cycle. I just smiled politely when they offered words of encouragement and hope for this cycle.

And then there's Mr. Jem. I'm back to having black thoughts about being married to him. It just seems so hard. We lack intimacy in some pretty important areas, serious lack of communication. Progesterone-me wants to just give up.

And then there's work. I'm bogged down and overwhelmed by all my projects.

I'm tired.



TeeJay said...

I'm so sorry, Jem. IF sucks, all aspects of it. And then when you add a troubled marriage to it things can seem pretty bleak. Try not to give up hope. I know it's hard and it's easy for me to say because I'm not cycling right now. I just want good things for you. I know you are a fighter and I know that you want your marriage and a child...both things are worth fighting for. Hang in there, sweetie. We are all here for you. (hugs)

T Lee said...

Ugh, I'm sorry hunnie. Progesterone did that to me, too. For now, just try to remind yourself that it's *mostly* the progesterone (and do what you have to to feel better, or wallow, or whatever you feel like youhave to do... then worry later about the things that are still bothering you (that actually might really need to be worked on).

Lulu said...

I'm so sorry. Everything about this it awful. You have my love and support.

Poppet said...

Focus on what you can. You know the mood is based on your meds anyway, so just try to deal with what you can. Work... exercise and knitting. Nothing like picking up needles when you've got the blues. It will be easier to see what the real issues are when the hormones aren't messing with your senses. INcluding you sense of self. xoxo

Heather said...

I hated the 2WW. All of a sudden everything was out of my control. At least the first half of a cycle I felt somewhat I'm control of things.

Hang in there and try to keep the good thoughts flowing. Know that we have your back in the positive thoughts department. ;-)

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Hang in there hon... progesterone does a number on you, body and spirit. Throw in the pre-existing stresses of life and the tww, and you're all kinds of messed up.

Thinking of you...

Jennifer said...

Progesterone is evil! I just cried for the tenth time this morning and it's only 5:45 am here. :)

I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I hope the next few days go a little easier.