Tuesday, August 16, 2011

dIUI: 9dpo - it's over

I know deep down that this cycle didn't work. Despite sore b00bies, and the twinges, which I know are due to the progesterone suppositories I'm shoving up my who-ha every night, despite those symptoms, I'm 100% positive I'm not pregnant.

No, I didn't POAS. I just know. On a molecular level I know.

And to think I decided to do a cycle instead of going on a cruise to Alaska.

I am so mad at IF right now, I could spit, I could cry. It's just so unfair.

I know some of you may tell me not to give up hope, to wait until I get my beta on Sunday. Well. I just know this cycle is bust. Please don't try to convince me otherwise. It will just make me cry more.

F*ck.

~Jem

20 comments:

Jessica said...

Sending you a hug since it sounds like you could use one...

Brandy said...

So sorry!

www.brandysheaif.blogspot.com

Sarah said...

I am so sorry.

f*cking infertility.

xo

S said...

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, Jem. :-(

Lulu said...

I get the same way. It's just an in-your-bones knowledge that it didn't work. Everyone always thinks I'm crazy, but it's my body and I know.

The only good thing is, usually I'm well on the path to healing by the time beta rolls around.

Much love.

TeeJay said...

I'm so sorry. Those feelings of doom and gloom really suck ass. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know that is easier said than done. Sending you big (((hugs))).

COME ON BABY said...

Shit! Sorry sweetie!!!!!!! Sending love your way.

Heather said...

Sending a hug your way Jem. It sucks what IF does to us.

Thinking of you...

Rain Child said...

(((HUGS)))

Diana said...

Hey there.. I'm ur newest follower and I, too know a thing or two about iui's... I'm going on my third IUI .. Ugh! IF sucks!!!! I want to scream!! anywho.. I'm sending u a huuuuuge hug right now. I'm sorry ur feeling blue. Keep the faith :)

erika said...

IF is the worst b$tch for sure. But. This game is not over. Sending much love and 'keep your chins up' vibes.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

(((hugs)))

Stacie said...

Many hugs to you. I hate the mindfuck the tww is. I hate that our hearts are hurt so deeply at every negative cycle. I hate IF, too.

Melissa G said...

F*ck, indeed. So sorry...

Marissa said...

Fuck infertility in the ass. HARD.

nutsinmay said...

Damn it, eh? I hate that feeling of impending doom. So sorry this isn't going well. Especially the 'for this I gave up Alaska' thing. That's salt in the wound alright.

Poppet said...

No one knows your body like you do. Don't worry - Alaska isn't going anywhere!

b said...

*hugs*

Amy said...

I'm sorry Jem. I've been a crappy commenter, but I've been following along. IF is a mean bitch, I'm still hopeful for you. ((Hugs))

linda said...

It sucks how much of living we give up when we're trying to get knocked up the ART way. I, too, have lost so many opportunties. I"m having to pass up a trip to Saratoga Springs for 2 days for my current cycle. Grrrrr.

I believe that many of us know our bodies quite well and can really tell when pregnancy happens. I hope that you've just got a sneaky embryo that isn't being really obvious. Fingers crossed for Sunday. :)