Thursday, January 21, 2010

January IComLeavWe

Welcome ICLW'ers!

I'm Jem. Supposedly Male Factor, but given our IVF with ICSI - 2 great embies transferred fresh and 3 transferred later after being frozen - that resulted in two chemical pregnancies, I can't point my finger at Mr. Jem as the only one with reproductive trouble. It definitely takes two to tango, plus a whole team of medical specialist, apparently!

The FET chemical pregnancy is still very recent (see Monday's post) and I'm still very raw about this, disillusioned with the whole process. Still working through the pain. That's what this blogging thing is all about. Having a safe place to share IF joys and pains with those who understand.

Very glad you stopped by!


Working from home today. Having lower GI issues. Yuck.

To add insult to injury, I'm staring at a line of medical bills, mostly for Mr. Jem's testicular biopsy. Double yuck. Talk about "Kick you when you are down!"

My brain and heart are still a bit numb. My IVF nurse called today to see how I was doing and to schedule a third beta for next Monday to make sure I'm back down to zero. Gee thanks!

Still waiting to bleed.



Emily said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog about implanation. So sorry about your chemical. That has got to be just awful. Are they going to look into your recurrent chemicals? Have they checked you for endo or something else that might cause issues with implantation?

lis said...

as someone who also is paying for a less than favorable result, i feel your pain...and a third beta is just more insult :( im so so sorry you have to go through this. here's hoping your third time is a charm!
my brother and his wife live in union city, just over the bay bridge, so ive been to san fran many many times. love it there! sending you some peace today...lisa

Poppet said...

All I can think is "would you like fries with that"?

Pie said...

Ugh, lower GI. Been there, hate that. Hope you are feeling better soon.

And I'm sorry you have to keep going in for betas, it is insult to injury. I hope you are in and out quickly, and it is as painless as possible. ((HUGS))

Noelle said...

I am so sorry that this is happening. I hope that you can start your bleed soon so that you can get it over with. I hate the "waiting to bleed" part. It hurts.

Fertility Chick said...

Doing the ICLW thing - but more importantly stopping by to let you know that you've been in my thoughts.

irrationalexuberance said...

Hey -- was thinking about you earlier and just didn't have a chance to comment to the last post.

I *totally* get the whole "east coast college alumni magazine" big fuck you. Worse, I am the bloody secretary for my class at an east coast liberal arts school, so I have to type up that shit and sound all chipper about it in the commentary. I wasn't exactly planning on being the freak childless classmate when I got asked if I would like the job. Now, I cry every time I do it.

an insight into me said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Chemical Pregnancy, they suck ass. Receiving medical bills is like kicking you while you're already down.


daega99 said...

Many, many hugs to you!


Brooke said...

Jem - I was sort of wondering (nosily) if you had been tested for tings such as MTHFR, etc...but didn't want to ask. But I just did. So, there it is. I have had a couple chemical pregnancies, and one miscarriage at about 7 weeks, and I am just having the testing done now (waiting for results as we start this FET.) I can look up what other tests are being done if you are curious. The Leiden thing. LOL.

I also can not stand to even look at the medical/RE bills as they roll in. I just want to throw them in the trash, but what I actually do is give them to DH to look at. Yikes, guess I'm not a good team player regarding financial stuff.
Okay - take care, my dear...

Brooke said...

Okay - I am working from my (not so great) memory, but here are some of the tests that I just had run a few weeks ago. I just used wikipedia to get some basic info. I think it's pretty accurate. They may be other tests I am forgetting. It may be a lot of tests, but since we're already paying so much for the IVF, we just went for it, because I don't really want to have another chemical, especially if I can help to prevent it with a couple of B vitamins, or some Lovenox/Heparin, etc. Also, keep in mind I do have Rheumatoid Arthritis, so they are really looking for more immune connections to my infertility. Actually it was my rheumatologist who suggested to my RE that I have more testing done, after the last chemical! Sometimes they need a little nudge! The RE was like "that's a great idea!" ??? Holy toledo lady, why didn't you mention it before? Okay, enough about me. Tangent. I hope your WTF on the 1st goes well, and you get some answers or at least some more testing done...just in case!


Factor V Leiden

Factor II / Thrombin


Antiphospholipid Antibody

Anticardiolipin Antibody

Lupus Anticoagulant Antibody (separate from the ANA)

Russell Viper Venom's_viper_venom_time

Have a good weekend - and email me if you have any other questions about my tests, or situation! (

callmemama said...

Insurance definitely knows how to screw with you. I remember getting a letter saying that I had no insurance coverage while I was recovering from my first surgery. That's just what you need to help you recover - a freakin' heart attack.
I hope you're able to have a relaxing weekend with your hubby. I'm so sorry you're having to repeat betas and "wait to bleed". This just plain sucks :(.

mekate said...

Ahh Jem, damn it, I am sorry for your early loss. IT is a loss and it sucks ass.

I just wanted to say I am thinking of you,
and am glad you have someone to talk with whom you trust so deeply.
that matters a lot.


Krissi said...

The waiting to move on but can't because you haven't completely 'let go' with a period is excrutiating. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I've been there. Anyway, I know this is a VERY trying time. Continue to reach out, continue to blog...these are all things I didn't do much of and I know now that it is extremely cathartic.
~mymiracles77 (Stress Free Infertility Blog)

nutsinmay said...

Oh, glad to see it's not just my clinic who are obsessed with endless repeat betas. The limbo is deeply unpleasant, even without upset tummy and medical bills. I hope you are feeling better today.

subfertilefrugalista said...

so sorry for your recent loss. best wishes to you.