I feel really good today. So glad to have resolved the ectopic, or at least made a decision and taken action. I don't know what the next couple of weeks will bring. Dr. W said to expect my HCG to go up on Sunday, but then come back down after that. Also, cramping is not uncommon. Oh, joy!
Yesterday on the way to the appointment I listened to the Hope_for_Haiti_Now album. Jennifer_Hudson's version of Let_It_Be is so beautiful, made me cry, put everything in perspective. I feel so lucky to have a job I love, be married to a sweet, funny man. I have a roof over my head, food to eat. I have two charming cats to love me. I have a close family who support me.
A peace has descended on me again. I feel I can focus on my work. I'm even planning travel for work down to So Cal for the week of Feb 8th. As a bonus, I'm hoping to see a college friend, fellow IF'er, who is PG after her IVF (but multiple IUIs and miscarriages). Other bonus: I can avoid going to her baby shower, which I'm not sure I can handle. One-on-one, yes. A bunch of fertiles fawning over my friend, not so much.
Mr. Jem and I are planning a ritual to say goodbye to our embies for tomorrow at sundown, along with our sabbath ritual. There is a wonderful collection of Jewish-based rituals online here, if you are so inclined.
I definitely want to mark this moment. I am thinking of also getting some jewelry to remember them by. I loved all the ideas you all sent.
Thank you all again for all the love and support.