dIUI: article

Check out this article. I think it sums up nicely what it's like to be infertile in a fertile world, to make choices.

Thoughts? Reactions?

~Jem

No frosties

F*ck.

Dr. W just called with the news. None of the 4 other embryos made it to day 6 for freezing. Everything is banking on these three inside of me right now. There will be no FET from this cycle. Double f*ck.

Stick and grow and be healthy! At least one of you!!

I'm going to go cry now. F*ck this whole IF thing.

~Jem

January IComLeavWe

Welcome ICLW'ers!

I'm Jem. Supposedly Male Factor, but given our IVF with ICSI - 2 great embies transferred fresh and 3 transferred later after being frozen - that resulted in two chemical pregnancies, I can't point my finger at Mr. Jem as the only one with reproductive trouble. It definitely takes two to tango, plus a whole team of medical specialist, apparently!

The FET chemical pregnancy is still very recent (see Monday's post) and I'm still very raw about this, disillusioned with the whole process. Still working through the pain. That's what this blogging thing is all about. Having a safe place to share IF joys and pains with those who understand.

Very glad you stopped by!

***

Working from home today. Having lower GI issues. Yuck.

To add insult to injury, I'm staring at a line of medical bills, mostly for Mr. Jem's testicular biopsy. Double yuck. Talk about "Kick you when you are down!"

My brain and heart are still a bit numb. My IVF nurse called today to see how I was doing and to schedule a third beta for next Monday to make sure I'm back down to zero. Gee thanks!

Still waiting to bleed.

Jem

Period.

I'm in Dallas for work, busy, busy with details for a "very important meeting" - only it all doesn't feel that important compared to what Mr. Jem and I have been through the last couple of weeks.

Auntie Flo decided to visit yesterday, a gushing end to our first IVF cycle. Closure. End to my "denial" stage of mourning.

Emotionally I'm doing much better. Only feel like crying once or twice a day. I'm actually feeling a little hopeful for our FET.

Thanks again to all my IF sisters and brothers out there in the bog-o-sphere. Your support and kind words meant the world to me. It is all still painful, but so, so good to know that we are not alone in this process.

Jem

Ta-da! My Tentative IVF Schedule

I received my IVF schedule on Tuesday (CD 3), same day I started BCPs. I’ll be taking them until Sept 27th (CD 15). Baseline U/S is already schedule for Monday Sept 28th (CD 16) to make sure that my ovaries were sufficiently suppressed. I begin stimming on Oct 2 (CD 20) after taking injection class with Mr. Jem (gotta get him involved in the process).

“What meds will be injected into your tender flesh?” you ask.

225 IU Foll.istim and 75 IU Meno.pur with a 81 mg Asp.irin chaser.

First follicle check on Oct 6 and then Dr. Wonderful has me tentatively starting Gan.ir.elix Oct 8 (CD 25). HCG with Ovi.dr.el (Rx TBD) and the rest depends on how things goes (don’t want to jinx anything!). Basically, by roughly Nov 1, we should have our BFX.

Wow, is this really happening?

I don’t think it will feel real until I, or rather we start stimming. I now know why couple say, “We’re pregnant.” I used to find this very obnoxious and pretentious. “What’s this “we” stuff? Only a woman can get pregnant.” I now get it. For non-IF couples, “it takes two to tango” but with us IF’ers, boy, is it a “we” a big, fat “WE!” – me, Mr. Jem, Dr. Wonderful, IVF Coordinator Ivonne, Dr. Needles, and countless others. Oh, and the support of our wonderful families. And all of you, interweb-anauts. Couldn’t do it without you and your support, too.

Jem

Oregon bound

Tomorrow Mr. Jem and I will fly up to Eugene Oregon to visit my parents. We are both looking forward to a weekend of relaxation, eating good, fresh food (my parents are amazing gardeners), and playing golf.

Here's a picture of me playing with ladies from my women's golf association earlier this year.
Golf is such a fun sport and a great way to bond with my family. My step-father got me playing last Labor Day during our annual Oregon pilgrimage last year. I've gone from complete beginner with no swing, to decent beginner, with a swing, and working on my short game. Did I mention I love the sport? So relaxing and exhilarating, all at the same time. And never boring!

So, anyways, it should be a good weekend with the 'rents. They are so supportive of our IF situation. Yes, they want grand kids. They did say if we end up with triplets they'll move down to our area in California to help take care of the babies.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Here's to all of us succeeding and having our very own (baby) labor day! And for all those adoptive parents (future and -to-be), you rock!

Love,
Jem