Sunday, June 27, 2010

Day 3 Transfer - Welcome home babies!

Here they are, the three embryos transferred this morning - Day 3. The bottom two are 8 cell, grade 2 and 3 respectively (1 = best; 5 = worse). The top one is a six cell with some fragmentation. The doctor said the other 4 are "lagging" so they will continue to be cared for by the lab and hopefully we'll have something to freeze.

I did acupuncture before and after the transfer. Once the acupuncturist placed the needles and turned down the lights and left me alone I started sobbing. Crying for my dear grandmother who died in February - I was wearing her sweater. I cried for my aunt who never had children and gave up after adoption fell through. I cried for the two perfect embies transferred first and then their three frozen brothers/sisters transferred afterwards. I cried and cried. I cried for my frustration at wanting to be a mother and not being able to easily, without going through so much. I lay there with my eyes shut and I realized three things:
  1. My deep commitment to becoming a mother.
  2. If you don't bink when crying with your eyes closed while lying on your back your top lids actually fill up with tears.
  3. Ears are perfectly situated to catch said tears.
That made me giggle and I stopped crying. I am generally an optimistic person, and this IF stuff has really knocked me around. Mr. Jem and I were both surprised and a bit worried by the Day 3 transfer. I know that I had "perfect" embies last time I didn't get a baby, so that it my less good embies doesn't mean I won't have a baby... but still. I am worried.

I need some encouragement and happy stories about success 3-day transfers.



Anonymous said...

Much love being sent your way!

Amy said...

I don't have a happy story yet, but I am full of encouragement for you and your beautiful embies!
We will be 2ww'ing together and I'll be thinking of you and your tear catching ears!

Brandy said...

Sending many happy snuggle vibes to your embies. I hope they find a good home for the next 9 months or so. And I giggled at the ear thing too. I've had that very same thought.

ASP said...

Sending loads of positive vibes your way. Best of luck for a healthy, happy journey with those 3 embies for the next 9 months ;)

Slackie O. said...

I'm glad you found that giggle - good luck!

Jess said...

Praying for you during your 2WW. Praying that your embies snuggle in tight!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the transfer! Thinking lots of good thoughts for you :).

Circus Princess said...

Sounds like you had a healthy good cry ending in releasing laughter! Sending lots of positive thinking for your "less than perfect" embabies, show the world you're really super stars!!!

Nicole said...

A good cry session can make you feel so much better sometimes. I hope that and your acu really helped relieve some pent up stress.. REST UP!!
Story- I'm sure you've been to her blog, but think of Sonja (oninfertileground.blogspot)- she had a day 5 but her blasts were poor quality (they gave her a 25-35% chance of even one of the three transfered taking) and now she has one month old QUADS!!

lis said...

my twins are a 3dt success story. not a pregnancy success story, but they were physically perfect in every way. im wishing you the very best! xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hugs, Jem! Not only are you are going to be a WONDERFUL mother -- you already are!

My little one is a three day transfer if that helps at all!

Sending you lots and lots of warmth today.

Adventures in Baby Waiting said...

3 day transfer here! The womb is the best place for those beautiful little embabies! I wanted a 5 day transfer so bad that when the Dr.'s office called to say it was a day 3 I bawled. It ended up okay, they are better off with you than in a dish! Thinking of you!

Priscilla said...

Your post made me cry as I reflect on all that so many of us have been through with IF. It's such a tough thing to endure on top of everything else life throws our way. My heart and my thoughts are with you during this 2ww. XOX

Allison said...

Awww, Jem...they're beautiful. :)

Sounds like a good sob was had. Doesn't it feel like your eyeballs are drowning? Weird, right?

Thoughts and prayers and crossing EVERYTHING for you!!

Anonymous said...

I've noticed that tears in the ears thing before. It's weird. Hope your cry helped to ease the tension of a cycle.

Your photo of those embies made me all emotional, guess it makes it all so very real.

I am hoping against all hope that these little guys stick and you get your BFP. Sending you lots of love through your 2ww.

bunny said...

Aren't they gorgeous! I wish I had a success story (boy do I ever!), but I'm hoping you'll soon have your own.

Krissi said...

Wow! I wish you loads of luck!! I had transferred my twins who were frozen on day 3 (and thawed for a day before transfer). It's so hard to believe that they were frozen in time for nearly 6 months. They are now 9 months old! Good luck!! Happy ICLW! (#75)

TeeJay said...

I wanted to chime in here, a bit late. Murgdan is a great example of embryo quality. On her fresh cycle she had the "best" looking ones transferred and she got a BFN. On her FET with the "good" looking ones, she now has a beautiful baby boy. Keep the faith, my dear. And I'm so excited for you this time around. I'm really hoping for good news. I think I may have missed the date of your beta...when will you test? Or will you test before beta?

Mama2Bee said...

Sending baby dust and relaxing vibes your way as you go through the 2ww. My "babies" were just done on day 3 too.

As for success stories, one of my dear friends has a gorgeous 2 yr old boy who was a day 3 transfer. I trust the docs and their decision...remember they want good results too :)


mekate said...

Oh sweetie pie-
surrender is actually an amazing place to visit, it really is. Boobs sore? Fabulous! and your embryos look lovely.
I am a day 3 transfer success. after many day 3 transfer failures. All of this shite is a numbers game and your numbers look really good.
I am so sorry you did not get any to freeze, I never had enough to even try- we just put everything back each time. This last time "everything" was just two embryos.

Sometimes acupuncture and the time to lie still conspire to let some of the crap out--almost as if it has been waiting to come. hope your tears cleared the way for some peace for you, not the "nothing matters" kind, but the surrender kind. The ever so difficult being-with-what-is.
(I suck at this mostly).

Thinking of you and
wanted to say, my pee stick experiences have largely sucked and been misleading, so hang in there until beta day if you can
OR pee knowing that a negative is not necessarily a negative.
This successful cycle featured a very late negative pee stick and I thought it was done.

hang in there
and take good care of your wonderful self.
there is NOTHING about IF that is for the faint of heart. This stuff sucks rocks and then some.

sending love,