Monday we met with Dr. "Could-be-Wonderful-again-if-FET-works." Okay, I'll just call him Dr. W from now on.
He don't know why the fresh cycle failed. Everything was excellent: egg count, embryo quality, everything.
When asked what he would do differently, Dr. W stood by his agressive use of meds to stimulate me. He said we might not have had any embryos to freeze if we didn't go all out with the stims.
He even explained the poor fertilization rate: it was due to the fact that they used sperm from Mr. Jem's testicular biopsy, sperm that is less "mature" by nature.
He was encouraged by the fact that the beta was 8, even if we didn't get a pregnancy. At least something stuck, for at least a little while. A very good sign.
Conclusion: He felt we had an excellent chance with the three icies waiting for us. FET is much less expensive (~$3K instead of $13K) and less meds and less intrusive. It sounds like a walk in the park next to a fresh cycle of IVF.
We will start our next cycle, which should begin around Dec 15. The only snag: (and you knew there HAD to be a snag) Dr. W will be on vacation the week between Christmas and New Years, exactly when the ET will happen AND when I have (forced) time off work. Darn. Drat. Turds.
If we want HIM to perform the transfer, we can extend the cycle (just keep taking estrogene and hold off the progesterone shots) and wait until the beginning of January. But do I want to take MORE time off work? Not really. Do I want another doctor to perform the transfer? Not really. The first one was torturous (read my account here).
What should we do?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12 comments:
Glad to hear that you're feeling good about FET! Sounds very promising...very impressed with Dr. W! Sounds like you're in great hands!
If that was not rhetorical question, I would sit with each decision for a day or two as if you've made it and see how you feel. Start with, ET without doc W. how does that feel? then do the ET with doc W but with time off.
both might still suck and there might not be a clear winner, or maybe, just maybe, you'll recognize that one option makes more sense for you.
no matter what, I am very very enthusiastically hopeful for you!
warmly
Kate
Glad the appointment was productive and informative! What a dilemma. I agree with the
"sit on it for a day or two" idea. Is there only one alternate Dr or several partners?
Personally... I think I would probably go with Dr. Alternate again for a couple reasons. 1-I think anytime you forcible extend a cycle with meds it's less likely to be AS optimal. Not that it's bad, and I've done it before. But I just think there's a reason for the "norms". 2-Maybe Dr. Alternate, having done it once, will be more 'familiar' with your ute and do a better job now? 3-Already have forced time off work... awesome! You'll be forced to take it easy and let those embies settle in better. But... I wasn't the one in the stirrups during his last fiasco.
But I don't think there'a a right or a wrong answer. You do what you and DH decide is best for you. I don't think one choice over the other will change the result, unless Dr. W is a veteran and Dr. A is a complete newbie. They have the same lab, embryologists, nurses, equipment, etc. Good luck with your decision!! You don't have to decide until at least Dec. 15 :)
I think you go with dr. alternate. This is about YOUR timeframe, not Dr. usedtobewonderful! I wasn't impressed by his sucky explanation and you don't seem happy with him anyway. It is about your and Mr. Jem's needs. Not his vacation plans! (Of course I get that he is off that week, but he should also know that he works in a field that doesn't always take holidays into consideration).
When you and Mr. Jem mull this over (cause I know you will and you should) remember that ultimately the decision should reflect what is best for creating a future baby Jem. Keep your eyes on the prize!
I'm excited to be following along your FET, you'll be a couple of months ahead of me as I have to wait until February.
I agree with most of the ladies before me, go with Dr. Alternative. For many reasons. Less stress, better timed cycle and because you already have time off works.
Much love!
Good to know that a chemical pregnancy is a good sign (I just had one from my IVF), although it felt like the worst possible way to fail. I have my WTF meeting with RE next week.
Not sure about your doctor. I have read that a smooth transfer is a big part of a successful outcome (although it didn't seem to matter for me), so I guess I'd go with the one you think could do the best transfer. It sounds like Dr. A was only so-so?
Good luck!
I agree with Nicole's advice. I think that there are multiple benefits for going with Dr. Alternate. I've had transfers with others than my primary doc and they were great folks too. The transfer is the "easy" part, it's the retrieval that is more complex. I also had a low chemical from my first IVF, but #2 has worked out so far so good. You just have to get the right one. Good luck kiddo. I'll be watching in Dec. and cheering you on.
I wish I could tell you what to do. I lucked out in that even though several of my appts were on weekends--my RE was always the one on call to do my transfers. BUT...I do just want to tell you I have high hopes for your FET...and as you know I am a big fan and a big believer! :-) The FET process is much easier on your body, and my FET transfer was so much smoother thanks to my ovaries not being the size of grapefruits. Wishing you nothing but the best for your upcoming frostie cycle.
Its funny how a Dr can say that your cycle went perfectly even though you ended up with a BFN. Thats exactly what my Dr said of my last IVF too and I thought it was quite funny. Are you on additional meds after transfer to help the embryo 'stick'?
As for your decision, if it were me I think i'd just go for Dr Alternate as its difficult to rely on one Dr all the time and I found this out recently when my regular Dr was away and I was annoyed that I had to see someone else, but the different Dr actually gave me quite a different perspective and I actually am thankful that I got to see him instead. Its always good to have a second opinon of sorts so i guess, in a way, thats what it would be like if Dr Alternate did your transfer. Good luck on whatever you decide. Go for it!!
FET cycles are much, much easier than fresh cycles, IMO. As far as waiting for your doctor versus having another one do the transfer, I'd probably just let another doctor do it, unless you are really attached to your RE. I've been bounced between six REs at the clinic I'm with now, and while I don't like it, I've had fairly decent experiences with all of them.
Good luck with your decision!
XXOO
So have you decided what you are going to do yet? The idea of having the transfer when you will have plenty of time off work would certainly appeal to me ...
Soooo...... what happened? Inquiring minds want to know!
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