Okay, I was a bit snarky in my last post about my friends sending Christmas pics of their kids. I actually like seeing the pictures. I do think it's strange that holiday pics are mostly just of the kids, like these children live alone and are the ones who actually sent the cards. I can just imagine whole suburbs with no adults, just kids going to school on their own, running errands, paying mortgages. Look, they are queuing up at the post office to buy stamps. Aren't they cute?
The other thing that bothers me is there is typically no note, not even a signature. It's like the card says, "We have kids and that's all that matters. Aren't they cute?"
Okay, maybe I'm projecting terribly, but that's the way it comes across. Of course these are dear people with very busy schedules and it's a miracle they got the pictures made and could even find a stamp for the cards, what with soccer practice, ballet, flute and all the kid birthday parties they attend. You know, the ones you read about on FB?
Okay, enough said...
9 comments:
I actually had someone send us a Christmas card with just a picture of their newborn baby and the message "Isn't he adorable"...and then "happy holidays" at the end. I was a little surprised at that. I don't think you're projecting too much.
I heart you big time Jem. I love that you pointed out the pic is only of the kids and not the whole family, plus no personal note. I never thought about it until now and it seems doubly wrong and arrogant. I'm glad I am learning these lessons early. ;-)
Ah, you've hit the nail on the head! I never could figure out why those cards bothered me so much, and you just articulated it. I used to send out cards years ago, but since the whole card with just pics of kids thing became popular I stopped. I have tons of cute pictures of my dog in his santa suit sitting in front of the tree, but I'm not stooping that low. Not that I think it's stooping at all, but others might think it a bit pathetic.
*sigh*
www.brandysheaif.blogspot.com
I agree totally! I always wondered why they didn't include themselves in the picture.
My boss and his wife sent out one last year of their then 3yr old daughter with a santa dress on, one shoulder bared and holding a candy cane to her mouth seductively. Wow, talk about inappropriate! DH didn't want it on the fridge...said it was just too weird...
Yeah, I hate getting cards that aren't even signed. I even got a printed card from my brother and SIL. My own brother didn't even sign his name! (Listen to me complain about cards, when I didn't even send any! LOL!)
As a follow-up to your comment on my last blog entry, I didn't meant to imply that if one works hard at ART that they will be successful at ART. I know that it is a game of chance. I'm already looking ahead to what we will do if IVF doesn't work for us. I meant that however my DH and I end up building our family--either intertility treatments, adoption, fostering, etc.--it will take hard work to make it happen. For some building a family is as easy as planning a night to have sex, or hell even getting drunk and having a one-night stand, but that isn't in the cards for me. And nobody is going to come to my door and hand me a baby to adopt or some 'competent' blasts to transfer. We'll have to seek out a doctor for IF treatments, or an adoption agency, have a homestudy done, fill our a ream of paper, etc., any of which will take perseverance, but the result will be a family. One way or another I believe (hope) our hard work will get us there.
I know right where you are in terms of feeling hopeful. I feel like the our last round of IVF was such a kick in the gut that I am really scared of what is ahead of us with this FET. I don't want to feel hopeful, beause it is much easier for me to not be hopeful. And my mind keeps telling me if the last two "perfect" blasts were shit, then why would this one be anything but? More and more DH and I feel like IVF isn't going to be the way we complete our family (and I think some of that is self-preservation). It really is a crap shoot, and with adoption we at least feel like we will end up getting there and we'll have something to be hopeful about. I'm not sorry I did IVF (and will be doing it at least one more time), but I did not anticipate the emotional toll it would take on me. Serious. mindfuck. And I am not looking forward to getting back on that horse.
You are so right though about positive thinking and stress impacting things. I really wish I could magically turn the stress and negative thoughts off, but so far I haven't figured out how to do that. If you figure it out, please share!
Seriously -- I hate the "you've seen our progeny, so we can't bother even to sign the photo-card" thing. Bugs the shit out of me, actually. Thanks for helping me identify one of the many reasons i do not heart holiday cards this year.
I wish I had thought to send one of my cats in a Santa hat this year. With no note and no explanation. I'm sure that everyone would think that I had finally gone off the deep end!
I totally agree with you...it makes no sense that the parents aren't in the picture. It reminds me of my mother and how she used to show us kids off like we were trophies that she won in the baby making race...I digress. If it's a family picture, then the FAMILY should be in it. :-)
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