Sunday, November 22, 2009

ICLW

Welcome ICLW'ers!

This is my second month posting for ICLW.

Today is cyle day 8 after a failed IVF, our first IVF. Well, not exactly failed, even though we got a BFN, because we have 3 embies on ice. I took the BFN pretty hard and am just starting to heal. We have our WTF appointment with "Dr. not-so-Wonderful" on Nov 30th. I'm sure we'll be proceeding with FET as soon as possible. My clinic has very good success rates with FET, equal to what they do with fresh.

I'm actually looking forward to FET. I was definitely over-stimulated during IVF, which made me very uncomfortable physically. I hope to be in a better place for the FET.

The most important thing that I learned with my BFN? That I'm not so ambivalent about becoming a mom. I was so heart-broken. It was clear to me that I really, really, really, really want to be a mom.

It's not like I didn't already know that. How could we IF'ers go through what we go through without REALLY wanting a child.

I guess my heart really opened up with the BFN and I was able to feel my wanting in a way I couldn't before.

Jem

6 comments:

Nicole said...

I'm glad you were at least able to get some insight into your personal IF journey through your grief. That's awesome that Dr. NSW has such good FET rates! A BFN after an IVF is so ridiculously devastating. More so than other other TTC method, because of how exponentially intense it is compared to any other TTC method. It's not only a BFN and another month of time lost, but all the sacrifice- physical, emotional, financial... it's just awful.
Physically, a FET is *WAY* easier than a fresh. Holy cow-way easier. Good luck with yours!!!

Kim said...

so happy you are looking forward to your FET. sounds like you have some beautiful blasts just waiting for you.

'Murgdan' said...

I was absolutely amazed at how comfortable and simple my FET was compared to my fresh cycle. The transfer was a breeze...and the entire process was completely less stressful (dare I say relaxing?). I'm a fan...so much so that I contemplated doing another cycle in the future and simply asking that all embryos be frozen for a future FET rather than even try a swollen, hyperstimulated, fresh transfer (okay, not really, I know people can get pregnant with a fresh cycle). Still. I'm a FET fan. Shocking, I know. Will shut up now.

May your longing be fulfilled very soon.

Allison said...

Your last paragraph gave me goosebumps. I hope the FET is easier on you and ends better, too.

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry about your BFN. That is amazing that you have 3 frosties and I hope your FET goes beautifully!

Krystal said...

Isn't it funny that, after nearly 3 years of TTC, I just recently figured out what a FET was? lol Like, seriously, only in the last couple of weeks! haha

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck on your FET! I'm sorry you've had to suffer to get there, but I really pray that this will be exactly what you need. I've heard that they're not quite as labor-intensive as a fresh cycle, so that's something else to look forward to!

Happy ICLW!