Saturday, October 24, 2009

Giggles on the u/s table

Giggles? More like uncontrollable laughter. Today's U/S was a comedy of errors.

Mr. Jem came to today's appointment. After having my blood drawn, we were sitting in the waiting room. The door opens and a woman I've never seen before calls, "Jem?"

Mr. Jem and I stand up and follow her into the u/s room. She leaves and I get undressed from the waist down, as instructed. I'm in position when she comes back into the room and I'm explaining to Mr. Jem that my follicles should be pretty big.

She looks puzzled and says, "The follicles should be small. Let's have a look." She inserts the dildo-cam.

I look even more puzzled. "Uh, no. This is day 8 of stims for us."

Her reply, "Your chart says this is is your baseline."

Me: "Nope. Not at all."

Her: "Hmm. Something's wrong. You're 'Jen' right?"

Me: "Nope. Jem" (Jem is not my real name and she had said a name that is one letter off from my mine)

Her: "Oh, that explains it. Your names sound similar. I did call Jen. Let me go get your chart."

Mr. Jem then offered to go get our chart, but she said no, she had to go. She then turned to Mr. Jem. "Can you hold this?" referring to the dildo-cam. The instrument still inserted into my va-JJ.

So there I was on the table, with Mr. Jem standing between my legs, holding on to the non-business end of the vaginal sonogram.

Then he starts with the jokes.

"Speak into the microphone." and "Who's your daddy?"

I start laughing uncontrollably. The ultrasonographer come back in and I'm laughing, howling with tears streaming. The u/s has unlocked itself so it looks like Mr. Jem is scanning me and the images is jumping up and down as I'm laughing so hard.

The tech takes the u/s wand back just as another nurse pokes her head in the room to double check the chart mix up. "It sounds like you are having way too much fun in here," she comments.

The rest of the visit was uneventful. My 20 follies are growing perfectly. Getting nice and big, all above 10 mm, and most of them around 12-14 mm. Next u/s scheduled for tomorrow. I'll post E2 and Progesterone numbers later...

As you can tell, Mr. Jem and I have processed the suckitude of the news from yesterday. We still don't like it, but we are dealing. And laughing together. That's what I love about him.


Circus Princess said...

That is just such an awesome story, laughed so hard I got water all over my laptop. If that's not a good sign for this thing turning out great no matter what, I don't know what is :)

Jill said...

So glad you found something to laugh about! Cute story :)

SecretSisterhood said...

Love the hilarity! :)

romancing_the_stone said...

THANK you so much for making me laugh!!!!! I am suprised you didn't pee yourself on that table (I would have!!!!). i will never forget this posting! Best of luck to you guys. 20 is great!!!! Shell hrrp:// Happy ICWL

Anonymous said...

This is great. Hope everything goes well.

jenicini said...

Toooo funny! Your twenty follies sound great! Yippee!

Life Happens said...

I totally laughed out loud when I read this post. It's good that you have such a funny partner on this journey.

Good luck with the cycle!

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for the giggle. You had me laughing so much my u/a would also have been jumping up and down. Sounds like the follies are doing brilliantly. Keeping fingers crossed

TeeJay said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog! What Mr. Jem did sounds a lot like something my DH would do. They can take the most technical and uncomfortable thing and make it a riot! That's why we love them. Sounds like your eggs are coming right along. Very exciting! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. After reading some of your posts you are posed with a challenge to say the least. I'm rooting for you guys!

Kim said...

great story!!!! and it sounds like your husband is dealing with the sperm news pretty well. my husband was an absolute mess when he found out his count was was easier to think the problem was all me. you got a pretty good man there!!!

Simple said...

OMG - I about peed in my pants reading this ... priceless! So nice to be able to find humor during IVF!!! Good luck! :)

AmandaMqn said...

Too funny! Sounds like our husbands have the same sense of humor!

Wishing you lots of luck with everythin!


sonja said...

LOL! My DH would have been freaking out. That is hysterical. I am glad your follicles are looking good. 20 is such a great number. Good luck with your upcoming retrieval!


Poppet said...

I remember the first time I experienced one of those things...

I thought I might be pregnant. I went in for the post positive pee-on-stick test and the nurse said, "When was your last period?" Well, I had no earthly idea! I never have ever been one to keep track mentally, much less circle it on my calendar (I still don't!)... "Ok then, we'll have to do an ultrasound." I got the same "undress from the waist down" deal. I was expecting the KY jelly on my tummy. When she put the rubber on the dildo, I thought she was crazy! "What's that for?!" I asked. I was horrified!!!

But a deep breath and swallowing of pride later and voila: "you are 8 weeks along. Your due date is November 15th". So a little humiliation was worth it.

I also remember the last time I had one:
Sitting in the gyn floor at our local hospital, about 10 weeks along with my next child... "I'm sorry, ma'am. There is no heartbeat." But deep inside I knew that was the verdict since I had been bleeding for several days with painful cramps.

That time there were no jokes, just humiliation, regret, anguish and loads of tears.

I'm glad you are taking it all in stride, Jem/Jen/whatsyourname. What else can you do?!

Noelle said...

Thank you so much for making me laugh!!!! It really brightened my night. That sounds like something my hubby would do, too. I guess we gotta laugh, right? Your post was very cute. I really hope that things go well for you.


Melissa G said...

Hey there,

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I just noticed you're in the Bay Area, - me too!

Great story about your appointment. It's nice to hear something lighthearted every once in a while. =) And it sounds like things are progressing very well with your stims - 20 follies is a great count!

Best wishes with the rest of your cycle.

IF Optimist, then... said...

Great story. "Speak into the microphone" had me in stitches. Oh gawd. I have to catch my breath. I love that. Hooray for funny husbands and laughter during dildocam updates.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you guys had that moment together! Think about the stories you can tell your kid(s)! lol Too funny! Good luck!

C said...

Great story! Everyone needs a laugh from time to time :)

T Lee said...

Haha, how deliciously, hilariously awkward. I think my Hubs would've just panicked, lol. Glad the follies are growing steadily!