Thursday, February 17, 2011

Gloom and doom

I'm not just talking about my mood. The weather here in San Francisco is down right stormy. And I like it! I love a good rain storm. Yesterday it hailed and I felt like cheering.

That said, I wish I could take some anti-depressants, because I do feel down. At a commenter's suggestion, I did go.ogle "adoption seminars" for my area. I will schedule something for next week or the week after. I have to have some thing to "do" to remedy this "child-free" thing. I can't not have children. I can't live with the idea of never having grandchildren.

~Jem

23 comments:

Krista said...

My family (all my family) is getting snow today in Nor Cal! They are THRILLED! They can keep it...we've had enough here in Denver!

Brandy said...

I finally went to a psychiatrist yesterday and got some meds and have an appointment with my therapist next week. It's time for tune-up.

www.brandysheaif.blogspot.com

EBC said...

Great job taking a step forward by googling seminars! It's a tough thing to take another step in different direction during such a tough journey, but you're doing it. And that is the first step in figuring our how to land your plane and taking back some of the control that IVF has stolen from us.

HopeBPatient said...

I think going to an adoption seminar is a good idea. My husband and I, on a last-minute whim, went to a weekend adoption expo (lots of lectures throughout the day on different aspects of adoption; also booths with different agencies) right in the midst of our last, disastrous IVF round. We pretty much already knew that donor eggs would be our next step, but it was really, really helpful to go to the adoption expo because that was our next, next option. And to learn so much about what is and isn't possible was just really good for us. We're unlikely to use that information anytime soon, but it really helped to give us assurance that there were other options out there for us (even though we're old and some of the adoption options would be closed to us, but lots still open too.)

callmemama said...

I loved the information meeting we went to a year ago. I had tons of fear and questions floating around and both me and Hubby ended up leaving the meeting feeling much more confident that we could actually DO this whole adoption thing.

IF Optimist, then... said...

You are so amazing. It is hard to step onto any new path, especially when your heart is sore and tired. Love to Mr Jem with the loss of his father. Wishing you all the best in your quest for your family. Blood isn't everything, but love IS.

Lulu said...

I think knowing what you can and cant live with is a good first step.

CS said...

The path all of us will have to take to having a family won't be easy or short, but we'll get 'er done in the end.

Marissa said...

I'm in love with my Lexapro. I've been on it since December. I can't believe I went without it for all that time.

*hugs*

amiracle4us said...

I understand completely the comment about not having a child is not an option. Are you and hubby on the same page with adoption? I ask only bc I think that is where we will be and C is not really open to the idea. I know people get to comfort at different paces but I fear he will never be ready...
I am anxious to hear about the journey!

Poppet said...

Good for you for looking at all the options. See where it goes... fingers and toes crossed.

nutsinmay said...

You're goign through such a hell of a time right now. No wonder you feel down.

Hoping the adoption seminars give you strength and reassurance.

Pearl said...

AD are not such a bad idea. They keep you from sliding down into depths you don't want to go. The weather is certainly not helping, but it might clear by Sunday. I hope all goes well with the adoption seminars.

SparkyJan said...

Have you tried the hormone DHEA? My friend got pregnant (taking it only a few months) after 7 years of trying at age 42, healthy baby. No side effects from DHEA.

Good idea about the adoption seminars - should do asap.

SparkyJan said...

OK - it worked. I just had to create a google account to leave that comment. I wanted to ask you about the DHEA ages ago but there was no 'anonymous' choice, I had to create a google account (which I've just found to be easy).

Good luck Jem.

Adele said...

It's strange how the weather can sometimes match our mood exactly. And I know that when I'm going through a rough time, nice weather just feels obscene.

I'm sorry you're down. I'm not surprised. This type of thing lays even the toughest of us low. There are just times when it is so very hard to keep our chins up. And I always think that those are the moments when doing becomes so important - like checking out an adoption seminar, or thinking about the next steps in treatment - because the worst is feeling like you're swimming in place.

KAM said...

Stopping by from ICLW...

I know the feeling. I have thought the same things. We are currently starting the adoption process. Feel free to stop by my blog anytime.

Wishing you all the best,
Kerry

Miriam said...

I love stormy weather, too. This winter has been good for me that way.

Hope the adoption seminars give you some clarity on that front and you find the answers you are looking for!

ICLW #61

SassyIfLady said...

It started with an adoption seminar with us...then we checked out three more agencies and found the right one for us. After NO success with IVF and other fertility craziness, we decided it was the best decision. It's been an incredible journey!

nh said...

Keep talking and blogging. It might not seem like you have a clear path at the moment, but it will come clear. But give yourself time for those decisions to happen.

ICLW

Project Baby said...

Wishing you the best of luck with everything!

Happy ICLW #122

womb for improvement said...

I haven't got as far as thinking about Grandchildren yet!

I hope the rain cheers you up, and like after a proper storm things feel a bit clearer afterwards.

Kathleen said...

oh i hate FB too. its brutally awful. on my best days, i shouldn't go on there because those are the days when another pregnancy announcement and wham, good mood shattered. i'm sorry to hear about your IVF #3. but hoping somehow you can find hope again. i know how you feel. i will NOT live w/o a child... but i'm so tired of trying to figure out how we are going to find him/her