Friday, August 20, 2010

WTF Appt #3

We met with Dr. W yesterday. It went well, in that I didn't cry, even when he started the conversation asking about Fluffy.

Why didn't our last IVF work? Why did we get less eggs and embryos? Why didn't the good embryos transferred stick? He didn't really know. 

Only conclusion: Old eggs. He didn't recommend doing PGD or any other testing.

Here are the options he presented:
  1. Donor IUI, with Clo.mid "kick" - could do this next cycle. 5-10% chance of getting PG. Cost: $600-$700
  2. IVF: Antogonist (again) with a slighter higher Folli.stim dose than last time (225IU). 35% chance of success, 40% with donor sperm.
  3. Donor Egg IVF: Higher cost ($25K), 60-65% chance of a baby with donor egg + Mr. Jem's sperm; 75% chance with donor egg and donor sperm. My reaction? With donor egg and sperm, shouldn't we "just adopt?" He pointed out that with adoption, you don't always know if the mother is taking good care of herself (not drinking, doing drugs), and that at least I'd have control over the pregnancy part of the equation. Hmm...
So, what to do? What was his recommendation? Dr. W didn't think there is one clear option. I don't want to "waste" time with a long series of IUIs, given my age (40).

We are definitely looking at getting a second opinion. I've already reached out to Dr. Zou.ves in Foster.City, CA. I'll let you all know what he says. Two other recommendations from a trusted source: CCRM (of course) and Dr. Jefferey.Fisch in Las.Vegas.

I'm starting to get mentally ready to cycle again. We will be traveling in September (to Oregon to see my parents and to MA to visit Mr. Jem's parents), so we'll need to cycle in late September, early October.

Onward and upward!

17 comments:

Heather said...

Despite not having success, I can't say enough good things about SIRM Las Vegas. Dr. Fisch wasn't my doctor there, but both DH and I were really pleased with how well-run they are.

Best of luck on your next opinions!

Brandy said...

I'm sure you've looked into this, but there is always the international option when doing donor eggs. I think if we ever did donor eggs I would go that route. From what I've read, a donor egg cycle in the Czech Republic comes in at just under $10,000 (including transportation and lodging).

Katie said...

My therapist mentioned Dr. Zouves and had nothing but good things to say about him. Good luck seeking a second opinion. Regardless of who you go to, I think you are doing the right thing.

Danielle said...

Lots to think about and consider! Whatever you decide, I'll be following along all the way! Lots of good thoughts for you, Jem!

irrationalexuberance said...

Loads to consider, and I'm glad that he had that many options for you to think about. I think the additional opinions make a lot of sense, and I hope that they all converge on something that you are comfortable with!

Kakunaa said...

Have you considere donor embryos? Same idea as the IVF, but probably less expensive...

TeeJay said...

That's a lot to think about for sure. I agree with Kakunaa, maybe donor embryo is the way to go if you are looking to save a little money. And doing a donor egg/donor sperm, you get to be pg...with adoption, you don't. Just something else to think about. I'm interested to hear about your second opinion.

Melissa G said...

Wow, very thought provoking appointment. Looks like you have some tough choices ahead of you.

I can't say I have an opinion either way, so I'll just wish you the best and tell you we're here for you as you move on to the next big thing!

Hugs!

Amy said...

Jem, your attitude is uplifting! You have a ton to think about and consider and I want to let you know I am thinking about you while you get ready to cycle again.

callmemama said...

Wow, that is a lot to think about!

I think it comes down to whether or not you want to be pregnant. I think adoption has the advantage that you're pretty much 100% assured a child at the end of it, but he's right - you can't control the intra-uterine environment. That would bother me, too.
I remember Mel (Stirrup Queens) had a really great checklist in her book to help people decide what treatment paths to follow - have you read it?
Hopefully, no matter what decision you make, you and your hubby will be at peace with it and know that we'll all be here rooting you on :).

gingerandlime said...

It always sucks when your options change, doesn't it? I guess it really comes down to whether or not it's important to you to carry a pregnancy; like others have said, that's the difference between donor egg and sperm, and "just adopting." If what you're focused on is the baby at the end of the tunnel, then maybe for you there isn't much difference; but if physically carrying the fetus is an important part of the equation FOR YOU, then they're not the same thing at all.

mommyinwaiting said...

That's a lot to take on board and process. Good luck with the decision making process and the second opinions. Looks like we could be cycling together.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Visiting from ICLW...

I wish you luck with your follow-up appts. It's a hard decision. I had looked into donor egg as well as adoption, and none of these are easy options. I actually think I am going to pursue one more IVF and then embryo adoption which is a lot less expensive... Not trying to push that one or anything, but yes, these are tough decisions!

-Jess (#74)

Allison said...

Know why I read you, Jem? Because you rock, what with all your information and research and can-do attitude. I'm seriously sad that it's come to this (because I wish it were easier for you and such crappy conversations/ decisions didn't exist), but admire you even more for it.

AmandaMqn said...

That is a lot to think about, I wish you luck in making a choice. IF just plain sucks.

~ICLW
#150

Rachell said...

I got the 'old eggs' diagnosis when I was only 34. He said my eggs acted like those of a 50 y.o. woman. So, long story short, we adopted. My son will be 4 in October. He would be an awesome big brother and loves babies so much. So we looked into donor eggs. I really want to experience pregnancy. My baby sister was so excited to donate us some of her eggs. It was an 'all go' until we got the pricing package in the mail a few days after our initial appt...$25,000. IF crushed me again. So, we bought our son a puppy this past Saturday. He asked for a 'white dog' and that's what he got.
I freakin hate IF.

iclw

northern lights said...

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that as a former (and current) prospective adoptive parent, I find the doc's comment about adoption rather insensitive. Makes me think that he's interested in making $$$ off you working with him rather than consider adoption. What he said is, of course, true in some way .. but having spent 1.5 years on the adoption journey and having many, many friends with adopted kids I focus on all the positives. And when I got nervous, I always thought about this: there is no guarantee that a bio child of mine would be 100% healthy even if I did everything right (nutrition, no alcohol, etc) - there's no guarantee regardless.

Anyway, thoughts & prayers with you on this long journey. Not trying to influence you either way, but I bristle at these perceptions about adoption.

Love you---