Thursday, July 8, 2010

11dp3dt: beta day

The blood has been drawn (at 8:10 a.m. Pacific). 
The prayers have been said.

Every time I panic and fantasize about Dr. W. calling and saying, "Good news, Jem!" or "Not good news, Jem." I stop myself and take a deep breath and say to myself. "No hurry, no wait. Be in THIS moment. You can deal with that moment when it comes."

Not to say I'm not going out of my f'ing mind at this point.

All the same, I have NOT peed on a stick. I have kept my mind positive and open to whatever will come. I was about to type "Of course I'll be devastated" but erased that from my mind. I just can't go there.

Instead I will continue Operation Distraction by reading your blogs, commenting, working and laughing as much as possible.

This is the zen garden that is my mind...

<< deep breath >>

~Jem

21 comments:

One Who Understands said...

Good job Jem! Thinking positive thoughts right along with you.

Amy said...

Keep breathing Jem. Fingers and all crossables are crossed and I am praying for that amazing phone call for you. You have done everything you can do, now is the time for peace. Good Luck!

Melissa G said...

Positive thoughts are definitely the way to go. Good for you for maintaining your zen.

Holding my breath, waiting for your good news.

Hugs.

Katie said...

Breathe. Deep breaths. And fingers crossed.

Allison said...

Go Operation Distraction!! Pretty zen garden... :) Fingers (and everything else) crossed.

The (Type A) Nightmare said...

I'm so freakin' proud of you! Don't know how on earth you've managed to NOT pee on a stick, but applause is warranted. Anxious to hear the news and going to that zen place with you. ;)

lis said...

crap the internet ate my comment!

i was saying that i am wishing you all the best that you will be updating with sticky baby news later :)

and congrats on holding out on poas, i may have to adopt that approach next time after my hope-inducing-semi-positive-that-wasn't last week.

can't wait for the update
xoxo
lis

R.J. said...

Thinking of you :)

Jenni said...

Great job on the positive thoughts. Can't wait for the update. I'm very hopeful for you.

Tiffany said...

Holding my breath for you Jem. I'm feeling your zen vibes and wonderful in-the-moment attitude. At the same time I feel like the whole world is on pause while we wait for your news today.

Very positive thoughts!

mare said...

Keep channeling that zen garden! Thinking of you. xo.

Mrs. Lemon said...

Nice Work! So impressed with not POAS'ing. Fingers and toes crossed for you over here!

Mama2Bee said...

Love the Zen garden image!

Thinking of you today and hoping to hear fantastic news later :)

Keeping my finger's crossed!!

COME ON BABY said...

Sending positivity your way!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Adventures in Baby Waiting said...

I'm rooting for you Jem!!!!!!! Hang in there!

Amber said...

You're doing great!! Hang in there!!

Rain Child said...

I am hoping for the best. I can't wait to hear.

Stacie said...

Sending love...and losts of positive energy!

biojen said...

Whew - my fingers are crossed.

Google whacking penguins - that is some good, mindless fun.

sarah said...

crossing my fingers for you!!

Pie said...

Deep breathing, right there with you. but I do wish they'd call already!!