Another year gone by

Time flies, when you're having fun... and yes, motherhood is all that, plus more.

Can't believe the offspring is already 4.

Here's a picture....

Years go by...

Gosh, has it really been so long? Really? I now have a charming three-year-old who talks up a storm, runs around, loves our cat, her "guinea pig" (a stuffed red bull) named "Ash-el-ly" (yes, three syllables).

I do miss blogging and my old friends. I don't miss the old days of infertility and wondering what life would be like as a mom.

I will check in more often. I promise. In the meantime, below is a picture...

"Rosie's mom"

These words are music to my ears, overheard when my three-year-old neighbor boy was describing me to his mom.

"Rosie's mom." 

Me. Little ole me. Someone's mom. Still thrills me. 

Rosie is now 16 months old, running around, saying words. Today she said our cat's name. Sorta. "Darky" for "Sharky." Cute as all get-out.

I'm still a stay-at-home-mom. Still loving it. Lots of play dates and activities. Just wish I had the money to go to all the music classes, etc. Happy price to pay for not having a paycheck anymore.

Here she is playing peekaboo.

~Jem

Getting in gear

Wow does it take a lot of stuff to raise a child. Diaper bag brims with it. We are packing to travel to Boston for a week to see Mr. Jem's mother. Packing is a bitch. What toys to bring to distract Rosie during the five hour flight? Will she sleep? How will we carry it all? Should I bring diapers or buy them there?

Better go to sleep. Big travel day tomorrow. Do like being back blogging. Missed you all.

~Jem

Life with a toddler

A reader asked to hear what it's like with a toddler at home. Here goes:

It's go-go-go the minute Rosie wakes. Big smile on her face. "Hi-ya!" she croons at me.

Her vocabulary is still quite limited at 13 months. Everything she likes is "Da-da" with Daddy being the self-professed president of the "Da-da Club." She does say mama, sometimes, but I think she's trying on new sounds. Her sound this week is "Dub-ya-dub-ya-dub-ya" like she's about to tell me her favorite website. Yes, it's very cute.

More cuteness? Even though she's a serious girl, she loves to laugh and has her own sense of humor. One day it will be the fly-swatter that will crack her up. Today it was mommy doing an impression of a chicken. Yes, those improve classes are really paying off.

What's not cute? The tantrums. Mostly because she can't yet articulate fully what she wants. She does point at things and grunt loudly to tell me she wants them. If I have to take something away from her she has a total meltdown. Tears, folding herself in half on the floor. It's actually kinda cute. "I understand you are mad you can't pull Sharky Kitty's tail." Sigh.

Almost a year ago I happily quit my job in the big city with the long commute and long hours. That's not to say that my days as stay at home mom aren't long. Au contraire!! 

Rosie wakes around 7:30 and will have one or two naps during the day. Every day I plan an activity for her/us. Since the weather is nice, we've been going to the park to play in the sand, climb the jungle-gyms and go down the slides. Often we'll meet up with other mom friends and their babies. We'll share sleep stories, talk about food our kids are eating, and more mom stuff.

Rosie goes down for the night around 7:30 p.m. after getting her ready for bed: brushing and flossing her six teeth, changing her diaper (disposables - I tried to do cloth, but failed), then story with daddy, then last story with me (this book) which I've read her every night for the past year. Then I sing her three songs: "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" (with accompanying signs), followed by, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and finishing with an enthusiastic rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

Usually I nurse her to sleep. Tonight I didn't have to. She didn't like it at first, giving me a shriek of disbelief, but then settled in the crook of my arm and fell asleep. She will wake multiple times at night for a quick sip or two.

Yes, I'm still breast feeding - which was rough at first. Very rough. And I'm co-sleeping. It's so much easier to have her nurse for a couple of minutes and then roll over and go back to sleep than get up, etc. etc.

Okay, It's almost 11 p.m. and I need to go to sleep. I hope this gives you some insight into what life is like with Rosie. And I didn't even cover solid food, how she's walking and other milestones. 

In sum, it's all pretty amazing, my own real-life Unicorn farting rainbow of a life. Don't let any mom tell you otherwise. It's "all that" and more to be a mom. For you all still in the trenches, I send you my heartfelt best. This mom business has far surpassed my expectations.

Rosie is 13 months old & yes we are both still alive

Okay, I've been a terrible blogger...No posts since New Years? What the heck is wrong with me?

Let's just say that I don't get a lot of computer time and leave it at that.

I have missed you all. The past year has been amazing. Crazy, fun, tiring, and amazing. This picture should say it all.

Happy New Year

Yes we are still here and Rosie and I are loving life. Every day is a gift. Better than I ever imagined. Promise to post more in 2013.  Miss you all.

~Jem

Beware!

Serious cuteness... baby picture below... warning!

SAHM status

It's 1:30 a.m. on Wed, the second week of officially being a stay at home mom - SAHM. I am loving this, folks. Loving it. 

Yes, I still worry about finances and miss my pay check. That said, Mr. Jem is finishing up his 11th month at his "new job" and is kicking ass and doing really, really well. He loves his job, loves going to work, loves his colleagues and is breaking sales records monthly. Only thing - wish they offered health insurance and paid him more.

Rosie continues to grow - She's 16 lbs, 10 oz - and is so much fun. She wakes up every morning with a huge smile on her face. She's giggling and loves when I sing to her. She rolls over to her tummy from her back and can do a back-stroke gesture to roll back on to her back. She's starting to scootch back and yesterday actually got on to her knees and hands, like she might actually crawl! I'm not ready for that, tho. The thought of her mobile is a bit scary.

The other huge change in our lives - yes, having a baby has changed our lives fundamentally!! - my mother has moved from Oregon to my town. 10 minutes away in a retirement community. It's great to have her so close, to have Sunday dinner together, to have someone to watch Rosie when I go to dentist. It's going really, really, really well. She drove with me into San Francisco last week when I cleaned out my desk at work (bittersweet moment - I'll miss my colleagues, miss downtown SF, miss my job, but NOT miss actually seeing my daughter grow up).

Okay, I better go back to sleep. Rosie slept 4 hours, needed nursing and is now back asleep.

~Jem

Cliches I thought I'd never hear

While at lunch today with two friends with babies, I actually heard these two cliches:

One friend asked, "So is Rosie on solids yet?"

Me: "No, she's not yet 5 months. We're in no hurry."

Her: "You should."   She then lectured me one why.  I'm the only one still breast-feeding  plus, really?!? Are you my doctor?!? Why are moms in such a hurry?

Next cliche - same friend:  "You have to let her cry it out. If she cries when you put her down she's trying to manipulate you."

Me: "No, it just means she wants to be held."

I thought those cliches were dead.   Good grief.

What cliche/myth have you heard lately?

~Jem

Infertility Podcast - Bitter Infertiles

At long last there's an infertility-related podcast!  

Check out Bitter Infertiles - click here to listen. And here to get it through iTunes.

"This week we discuss the public perception of miscarriage, open adoption with Lori Lavender Luz, and why celebrity pregnancies annoy us."

Be sure to subscribe and support our community.

~Jem

Losing my marbles

It's official! I'm so sleep deprived that I'm losing things, namely my keys. Twice. First I lost my regular set of keys somewhere between the house and the car a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday I lost the spare set of house keys. Again, somewhere between the house and the car, but maybe at he store. Mr. Jem was upset and super concerned.

BTW, his job is going really nicely, with two record months of sales. And he still lives what he's doing and his team.

Rosie has been napping but only briefly (20-30 min). No naps for me. Tired. Very tired.

~Jem

In a fog...

Lack of sleep has me completely in a fog. If I can get one thing done a day, it's amazing. I don't know how working moms do it. Good grief! I'm working on refinancing the Jem household before I officially quite my job. Gulp. Did I just type those words?

I don't have a lot to report. Just received a box of baby books from a college friend - they are in French! How fun to read to Rosie in French. It always makes her smile and laugh when I read or talk to her in French. She loves it.

So much better to be blogging on the PC, rather than my silly small iPhone screen.

Gotta go as Rosie is trying to "talk" to me. And Sharky cat wants to be fed.

~Jem

Rosie is 17 weeks? Already? Really?

Holy cow, time flies!

Things have been up and down - mostly up. Motherhood rocks, better than I could have imagined. Rosie is a joy. That smile alone melts my heart.

Okay, enough unicorn farts. Reality? 

First issue: I wish she slept more. 

She hasn't been napping and that has been affecting her night-time sleep - waking more often. So we started sleep school today. Didn't go on a walk with local moms, just concentrated on napping. 

Two hours after she woke I tried putting her in her crib for her morning nap. Epic fail. Tons of crying. Instead I rocked her and sang to her and ended up nursing her to sleep. Which is what I have been doing every night.  The "twins" are a bit sore, to say the least.

Rosie slept in my arms for a couple of hours. I slept too. I'm tired. Living off five hours of sleep (total) is hard. I've been breast-feeding her on demand and plan to continue this, but the sleep thing has to happen. During the day and at night. Must. Sleep. More.

Second issue: to go back to work or not. I've been agonizing over what to do. It's a hard issue, deeply psychologically, emotionally and financially scary. I could write a whole post just on this topic. Maybe I will, but I'm so busy with this parenting thing, that I can't really promise to. The bottom line is that we can afford for me to stay home with Rosie, if we tighten our belts - living in the San Francisco Bay Area is expensive. I've yet to actually tell my boss that I'm not coming back. Scary. Except that all I want to do is stay home with her. My commute to work was one hour each way. I can't imagine doing my job, commuting and coming home to take care of the house and spend time with the kidlet, wake in the night to nurse her, etc. I know I could do it if necessary. But if I don't really have to...

Okay, better go sleep because Rosie is sleeping (not on me for once).

Do know that just because I don't post often, I am reading your blogs and thinking of all of you.

~Jem

Pic

Check out how big and grown up Rosie is now!

 

I can't seem to get this picture in the right direction. At least you can see how cute she is!

~Jem

Rosie Update @ 12 weeks

I'm typing with one hand, chicken-pecking with my left index finger on my iPhone. Baby is asleep at my breast. Her warm body snug against mine. I'm so darn happy. Tears come to my eyes just typing this. 

Here's my quick update in bullets

• Rosie is twelve weeks old. Hard to believe. She's a different baby now. No longer a new born. She's awesome. Only cries only when she's tired or startled. Last night I knocked over a lamp in her room while she was sleeping and she freaked. 
• She weighs 14 pounds now. Gaining weight like a champ. 
• Breast feeding is going well. Only trouble is that my let-down is too strong. She gasps and sputters. Oh and she won't take a bottle anymore. 
• I'm freaked about going back to work in September. 
• Looking for child care is confusing and makes me want to cry
• Mr Jem is an amazing father. Except when he's tired and or sick. 
• I've lost all but 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight. I still have 20 lbs of infertility treatment weight to lose. 
• I shower (almost) every day. Today Mr Jem watching Rosie meant that I even put on makeup. 
• We had a party last Saturday to introduce Rosie to friends and family. We also had a Jewish baby-naming ceremony in the back yard. Gave Rosie her Hebrew name. 
• Being a mom is more amazingly wonderful than I foresaw. 

 Sorry for being off-line for so long. Forgive typos. iPhone format difficult. 

~ Jem

First cold

Poor Rosie woke in the middle of the night coughing and sputtering, totally congested. Been keeping her fed and comfortable all day. I'm exhausted. I promise to post about thrush another time. ~Jem

Thrush update

Thrush update: I saw the Physician's Assistant at my OB yesterday and she prescribed fluco.nazole. So I'm cleansing my breasts after (almost) every nursing with diluted vinegar (1 tbs / cup water) and use lanolin cream after nursing. After 2 weeks of suffering with painful breasts/nipples, the relief was almost instantaneous, or at least over night. After 1 day on the drug I'm not 100% better,  but 80%. So much easier (and more pleasurable) to actually breastfeed now that my nipples and areolae aren't bright red, chapped and painful.

Essential purchase recommendation: One thing they don't tell you is that you have to write down the time and length of every feeding (which side did I nurse on first?), wet and/or dirty diaper. I have been using printouts from the internet up until now, which worked great since I was home. The pages lived in a three-ring binder, in blue, which we affectionately called "The Blue Book" and then "The Blue Book." 

Now that we are going out on the town, I need something more portable. I recently found this wonderful book that allows you to mark down all those details, plus sleeping patterns, and other notes. My friend uses it and I just ordered one for myself. Cute and useful.

Okay, baby is sleeping, so I better do the same.

~Jem

Body Snatcher

Dear readers,

Please, please forgive my absence from the cyberworld. I've been busy being a mom. I'm lucky if I get a shower, get fully dressed and/or fed myself. I can usually do one or two things outside the home per day. Last week we actually took Rosie out for a walk in the stroller. I started the "Mommy and Me" group Tuesday. It was great to meet with other new moms, share stories. I took a walk and had lunch with one of the other moms. Delish.

My spirits are good. I am loving being a mother, changing diapers, nursing on demand, sleeping when I can. 

My body is slowly shrinking back to pre-pregnancy weight. I've lost over 30 pounds in the last 5 weeks. I'm eating very healthfully, and have started walking more with Rosie. It feels good to get out, see more friends, etc. 

Oh, and other good thing: our cat Sharky is slowly adapting to Rosie's presence. Don't worry, he's never alone with her!

Only bummer: Thrush. Rosie doesn't have any symptoms, but I sure do. It feels like there are needles being inserted down my nipples. I have to treat them after each feeding, and usually do, except in the middle of the night when we both fall asleep after nursing. I'm rinsing with diluted vinegar and then using a topical antifungal and then wiping them down with a wet paper towel before nursing again. Rinse and repeat. I change out my towel daily, wash my hands often and I'm trying to cut down on sugar.

I would love any advice on Thrush / yeast. Internets?

~Jem

Babymoon

I can't believe Rosie has been in my life for almost 4 weeks. I've been in this blissful, timeless place where there are just the two of us, oh, and Mr. Jem, of course. My mother was here for 3 weeks, which was wonderful, super useful, especially with me healing from my c-section.

Oh, I'd like to write more, but Rosie needs to nurse.

~Jem