... to report on TTC. We're officially on a break. Psychologically, it's a little bit like resigning myself to... I mean "trying out" living Child-free.
I don't like it.
Okay, I loved sleeping in to noon on Sunday. I didn't like this feeling that there's something major missing in my life. I don't care about being able to go shopping anytime I want. I don't care about just focusing on me. I want to focus on raising a child, I want to have a reason to cook a good dinner, a reason to sing a song, to make silly faces, to paint.
I know I don't have to have a child to do all those things. The fact is that without the focus of TTC, all the deficiencies of my life are standing out. Mr. Jem is annoying me - his lack of career focus, not following through with 2 of the 3 things he does around the house: dishes and vacuuming. His lack of fitness and energy is also bothering me. Okay, I have 25 lbs I need to lose, too.
The other obsession that has filled the space left open after IVF has been with my hair. I'm wearing it curly instead of blow-drying it straight each day. I wash it at night and add product (aloe vera gel is my go-to right now). The key is not to touch the hair as it dries, or it frizzes. I will post more about this later. Again, I'm totally obsessing on reading curly girl blogs and forum postings.
Okay, not exactly "NOTHING" going on. Just not really the right stuff.