Mr. Jem's business

This post is all about Mr. Jem and his man-business.

Two years ago when we started TTC Mr. Jem had his first SA. The doctor's first question when the results came in where, "Has Mr. Jem had any chemotherapy?" The answer was "No, why?" His response: "Because there are virtually no sperm in the sample."

Yes, dear readers, the results were that bad. 100 thousand swimmers. Too little to check morphology. Bad, especially as 25 million are the minimum amount to be considered normal.

Mr. Jem was in a sucky job and tho we had "pulled the goalie" he wasn't really in a good place to even talk about having a baby until Summer 2009. He retested. 600K.

The Diagnisis: Male Factor Infertility. The treatment: IVF with ICSI.

We had been doing acupuncture as soon as we decided to do IVF. The acupuncture clinic didn't really take his low count very seriously. They had him on special vitamins, Chinese herbs and only did acupuncture right before the SA. They (and our RE, Dr. W) said: "It only takes one sperm." Well, actually, it takes more than that!

The week before ER, his SA came back with zero sperm.

***Sounds of tires screeching to a halt***

Because of this, he had a testicular biopsy the day of retrieval to get sperm for the IVF with ICSI. After cutting into both sacs they were able to extract enough to fertilize my eggs AND freeze some for next time, if necessary. The silver lining from all this is that Mr. Jem found a urologist he really trusts.

Since the IVF, the urologist, who I call Dr. Johnson, did blood work on Mr. Jem. Mr. Jem had low testosterone. His FSH was normal. The way Dr. J. described it was, "The brain is sending the signal to the factory, but the factory isn't making any sperm."

In December Mr. Jem's Free Testosterone was 35, well below normal. Dr. Johnson put him on Test.im. After 4 weeks, Mr. Jem's level rose to 75, within normal. Dr. Johnson switched him over to Clom.id for two reasons: 1) to produce more better sperm so we can see if we can get PG naturally (we are MFI, after all, and if we can avoid another IVF cycle, that would be WONDERFUL) and 2) there's a generic equivalent to Clom.id (unlike with Test.im) so it costs $35 instead of $200 per month.

There are also other medical benefits of a normal testosterone level: it protects bone density, protects against heart disease, can help him lose weight and gain muscle mass, as well as raise his libido (always good!). Mr. Jem's sex drive has always been lower than mine, which has been the source of a lot of conflict over the 11 years that we have been together.

So, with the addition of Clom.id and more testosterone, I hope Mr. Jem's energy, libido and sperm count climb.

I just wish that Dr. W had told us to see the Urologist BEFORE we started IVF. He didn't. He said, "Don't bother." I disagree and urge all of you who are MFI to make sure you check out all the options. Oh, and freeze sperm when you get the chance, rather than relying on getting a good sample the week before retrieval. If I could spare anyone the heartache and worry of that, I will have done my job here.

I'd love to hear anyone else's (or DH's) experience trying to increase sperm count. What did you/he take? How did it work?

Jem

January IComLeavWe

Welcome ICLW'ers!

I'm Jem. Supposedly Male Factor, but given our IVF with ICSI - 2 great embies transferred fresh and 3 transferred later after being frozen - that resulted in two chemical pregnancies, I can't point my finger at Mr. Jem as the only one with reproductive trouble. It definitely takes two to tango, plus a whole team of medical specialist, apparently!

The FET chemical pregnancy is still very recent (see Monday's post) and I'm still very raw about this, disillusioned with the whole process. Still working through the pain. That's what this blogging thing is all about. Having a safe place to share IF joys and pains with those who understand.

Very glad you stopped by!

***

Working from home today. Having lower GI issues. Yuck.

To add insult to injury, I'm staring at a line of medical bills, mostly for Mr. Jem's testicular biopsy. Double yuck. Talk about "Kick you when you are down!"

My brain and heart are still a bit numb. My IVF nurse called today to see how I was doing and to schedule a third beta for next Monday to make sure I'm back down to zero. Gee thanks!

Still waiting to bleed.

Jem

ER eve

"Twas the night before retrieval
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Why? 5:45 a.m. pre-op prep for the spouse."

Yes, we are both going under the knife tomorrow.
Mr. Jem at 6:30 a.m. and me at 8:30 a.m.

In today's donation, they did find sperm (yay!!) The found 7 very healthy swimmers in the small small part of the total sample that they examined. We only need enough sperm to fertilize the 20 eggs they foresee harvesting tomorrow. All the same, Mr. Jem chose to have the biopsy tomorrow to find more just in case the little swimmers don't make it over night.

The hardest thing about this process has been having to make snap decisions that have such consequence. Quick, select a donor and have donor sperm shipped to the clinic! Quick, decide: biopsy or not? Dr. Wonderful had the gall to be inpatient with us this afternoon. As if I could care about the scheduling of his staff. Everything feels so rushed and last minute.

I just wish we had seen the urologist months ago, but Dr. (now-not-so-)Wonderful said in our initial visit, "You don't have to go to a urologist. IVF with ICSI is your only way of getting pregnant." This was back when the sperm count was a low 500,000. That's why we were so shocked last Friday to be told, "We found zero sperm." I have to let the resentment towards Dr. W go, as he'll be performing my surgery tomorrow. Nice Dr. Wonderful. I love you Dr. Wonderful! (Do I sound convincing?)

I really take my hat off to Mr. Jem for being so courageous. He chose to have surgery because he wants to do everything humanly possible to have this work, with both our DNA. It's totally what I want, too. I used to think, donor sperm? No problem. I'm still cool with donor sperm, but only as a last option, if there's no way to have Mr. Jem's guys. Mr Jem said, "If I don't do the biopsy, and there's no sperm tomorrow, I would kick myself for not doing everything I could."

He is my hero.

***

Reading over my post, I realized I barely mentioned my own feelings about egg retrieval tomorrow. I have stuffed back my feelings. When we started this process I was super scared, even resentful of Mr. Jem that I had to go through all these procedures, take all these drugs and all he has to do is romance a cup.

I still have moments of resentment, especially this afternoon when I felt so bloated and even a bit faint (yes, I talked to my nurse and I'm hydrating with electrolytes). For the most part I am very grateful for Mr. Jem, and his love and support.

I do have moments of total fear and "I don't wanna!"

Right now I wanna go watch an episode of Entourage.

Jem

Baseline ultrasound, take 2 & PICSI

This morning I had my baseline u/s, two weeks after my first one. We are definitely "go" this time 'round. I order my meds tomorrow, so they arrive on Wednesday. Friday we have our injection class, as we start stims that day.

Whooo hooo!

We got an interesting call from our clinic asking if we want to be part of a study called "PICSI" - it's for couples doing IVF with ICSI. It's a new technique that helps them select the best sperm for ICSI that will result in increased pregnancy rates.

The cat just jumped on me... I'll post more on PICSI later...

Welcome IComLeavWe'ers

This is my first IComLeavWe post. I am so grateful to be part of this community of people, men and women, who are so open and sharing with the most personal aspects of their lives.

Me?

I'm 39 years old, married for 6+ years to Mr. Jem. Marriage just gets better and better and interestingly enough, facing IF has brought us closer together (after the initial denial and anger phase reacting to Male Factor IF). We've been TTC since Jan 07, but Mr. Jem really wasn't ready to deal with IF or a baby for that matter until May of this year.

We have just started our first (and hopefully last) IVF cycle. We will be doing IVF with ICSI, as Mr. Jem's count was so low (600K) and his motility low too. I ovulate and my FSH is in normal range, as is my Estradrol level. We are very optimistic about this cycle. We've been eating really healthfully (organic when we can, no caffeine, no alcohol, eliminating sugar (as best we can), good lean protein, lots of supplements). We're even doing acupuncture. Okay, I'm doing it mostly. Mr. Jem will have some right before his two donations for the IVF (one will be frozen, the other will be fresh). My understanding is that acupuncture right before and after embryo transfer can greatly increase the chance of a viable pregnancy. Gotta do anything possible to make this work.

Thanks for visiting my humble blog. I appreciate all the comments, support and encouragement.

Jem

Bride of Frankenstein

Mr. Jem got back from Boston last night. He was there for a whole week, visiting his ailing parents. I really missed him all week, but when he got home, he was so tired and still recovering from spending so much time with his parents that he was emotionally unavailable to me. Plus, it was one day after Ovulation, and, despite having given him plenty of warning ahead of time, he was "too tired" for intimacy (not the first time I've heard this).

I freaked.

All my anger that we can't conceive naturally came out. I cried and cried.

"Why can't this be easy for us? Why do I have to go through medical procedures (IVF with ICSI) when HE'S the one with a problem?!! Why? Why? Why?!"

Luckily, things looked way more rosy this morning. He called me at work and apologized for being distant and hurting me. I apologized for freaking out.

Happy ending (sorta!! We'll see when I get home tonight! LOL)

Jem

Thank you Corporate America

To quote a movie from the 80's...

"Greed it good!"

Let me explain. As stated in an earlier post, I work for a very big, billion-dollar (try a hundred billion, Dr. Evil!) company. Let's call it McBig Corporation (even if we don't sell burgers).



I heart McBig Corporation because I have fantasitc health insurance that covers IF and amazing Rx coverage, too. My upcoming IVF cycle is going to cost us only 10% of the total cost.

• $584.82 for the cycle fee with ICSI (and hopefully cryo for Mr. Jem's swimmers and extra embryos, too!
  
• $300 (approx) for pre- and post-cycle testing


• $380 for meds (could be less, as Dr. Wonderful is lowering my doses)


• There is a$10K Lifetime Limit on IF benefits.


• This is not counting the $750 I just paid Dr. Needles for 11 sessions of acupuncture or massage. I only get reimbursed 70% (instead of 90%) on that.

Needless to say, this is a huge relief to me and Mr. Jem (who is currently unemployed).

Sometimes it pays to be employed by a behemoth corporate entity (sounds like the Borg, doesn't it?).

Jem

"Gourmet Classics"

Just back from seeing my RE, Dr. W. I'll call him "Dr. Wonderful" from now on, especially after the wonderful news from today's visit.

What's on the menu for today's visit?

As an appetizer, the chef recommends an ultrasound. Main course? Saline ultrasound with a "mock transfer" for dessert, of course. It's the house specialty.

So, I'm waiting for Dr. Wonderful to arrive. I'm naked from the waste down, flimsy paper thing gripped at my waist, sitting on the crinkly paper at the bottom of the examination table, and what do I see? This:


Yes, folks. Those are pot holders over the stirrups. "Gourmet Classics," indeed! I can hear the ad now... "We cook up nothing but the best here at the clinic." I could go on to make omelet jokes, but I'll leave that up to the more humorous blogs (shout out to 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility).

So, the wonderful news it that my uterus looks great. No cysts. My ovaries are producing eggs as we speak. The mock transfer was easy and painless. Actually, I barely felt anything!

Dr. Wonderful said he's going to change my Rx to lower doses of meds because things look even better than he had suspected.

Mr Jem and I brought over our test results to the acupuncture clinic associated with the the IF clinic. "Dr. Needle" looked at all the results and gave Mr. Jem vitamins and herbs to take to make his sperm better, swim better. We were both a bit skeptical as we're doing IVF with ICSI, but Dr. Needle reassured us that it should help. Hmmm...

All the same, it's nice to walk out of the clinic smiling.

Jem