No frosties

F*ck.

Dr. W just called with the news. None of the 4 other embryos made it to day 6 for freezing. Everything is banking on these three inside of me right now. There will be no FET from this cycle. Double f*ck.

Stick and grow and be healthy! At least one of you!!

I'm going to go cry now. F*ck this whole IF thing.

~Jem

R&R

Here's proof that I'm taking it easy for the second day running, as the doctor ordered. That's Sharky and my right foot! Mr. Jem did an amazing job yesterday taking care of me. He even cooked dinner last night (gasp!). He grilled chicken, steamed broccoli and defrosted that wonderful TJ's frozen brown rice. Very healthy food for our babies! 

Thank you, Mr. Jem!

I'm reading lots of blogs and so grateful for all the support and love of this community.

Thank you Bloggy Community!

~Jem (feeling very grateful)

Day 3 Transfer - Welcome home babies!

Here they are, the three embryos transferred this morning - Day 3. The bottom two are 8 cell, grade 2 and 3 respectively (1 = best; 5 = worse). The top one is a six cell with some fragmentation. The doctor said the other 4 are "lagging" so they will continue to be cared for by the lab and hopefully we'll have something to freeze.

I did acupuncture before and after the transfer. Once the acupuncturist placed the needles and turned down the lights and left me alone I started sobbing. Crying for my dear grandmother who died in February - I was wearing her sweater. I cried for my aunt who never had children and gave up after adoption fell through. I cried for the two perfect embies transferred first and then their three frozen brothers/sisters transferred afterwards. I cried and cried. I cried for my frustration at wanting to be a mother and not being able to easily, without going through so much. I lay there with my eyes shut and I realized three things:

1. My deep commitment to becoming a mother.
2. If you don't bink when crying with your eyes closed while lying on your back your top lids actually fill up with tears.
3. Ears are perfectly situated to catch said tears.

That made me giggle and I stopped crying. I am generally an optimistic person, and this IF stuff has really knocked me around. Mr. Jem and I were both surprised and a bit worried by the Day 3 transfer. I know that I had "perfect" embies last time I didn't get a baby, so that it my less good embies doesn't mean I won't have a baby... but still. I am worried.

I need some encouragement and happy stories about success 3-day transfers.

~Jem

Help! Need your advice

I have a sheet of paper that shows what medication I need to take. I just realized I didn't take my morning dose of Estr.ace. Sh*t. It took it immediately at 9:00 p.m. I did notice some slight spotting (mostly in the form of cervical mucus) earlier today. I will take the evening dose when I go to bed. 

Did I totally Eff up? (yes)

Should I shove one up the va-jj for good measure?

I don't want to call the clinic or the on-call doc with such a dumb question...

Thoughts? Need your help, guys!!!

~Jem

Fertilization Report - IVF #2 (updated)

Got the call from the clinic - here's the fertilization report: 

Of the 14 eggs retrieved, 9 were mature and were fertilized with ICSI. As a result, we have 7 embryos doing their thing! 

We're tentatively scheduled for a 3-day transfer on Sunday, with a good chance of going for the 5-day on Tuesday. We'll see on Sunday how many make it and how they are doing.

Oh, and please, dear readers, believe me when I say that I was very happy with the 14 eggs retrieved. Yes, it's a lot less than last time, but I'm not hyper-stimulated like last time AND we got fresh swimmer rather than biopsied ones this time. Getting any results is a blessing. Last time we had 24 eggs, but only 16 were mature; 9 were fertilized and we ended up with 5 blasts to transfer. Again, it's quality, not quantity that matters!

Doing ICLW this month has really brought home how I'm definitely in the "veteran" camp now doing a second IVF. I am so much less nervous, so much more zen this time around. Thankfully. 

As always, I'm so thankful for all of you, for your comments and support. 

~Jem

Post-op

We were at the clinic at 5:45 a.m. this morning and by 6:30 I was under. When I woke, Dr. W said we had 14 eggs and enough fresh sample (from yesterday AND today) from Mr. Jem to fertilize them. I needed some extra pain medication, which made recovery time a little longer, but that's fine with me... was home by 8:30 a.m. and back in bed. I slept until 1:30 p.m., had a light lunch (home-made soup - recipe to follow) and chicken. Then back to sleep, Fluffy curled up by my feet. Bliss.

For IVF #1 we had 24 eggs. This time we got 14. I'm hoping for quality over quantity ("It only takes one" blah, blah, blah).

Thanks for all the words of encouragement.

Still a bit spacey, so I'll sign off. I'll report in tomorrow when we get the fertilization report.

~Jem

Basic Veggie soup

1 TBS olive oil

1 large onion, chopped (I used 2 small fresh onions)

4 cloves pressed garlic 

2 celery stalks, chopped

1/2 bundle kale (or chard or 1/4 head cabbage), chopped

2 large carrots, chopped

1 potato, peeled and chopped (optional) or you could add a can of beans, drained and rinsed

2 cups green beans, cut in 1" pieces

1/2 tsp thyme or herbes de Provence

6 cups chicken broth (I used Organic, free range)

Sea salt and fresh pepper to taste

In a large soup pot, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the onion and cook until nearly translucent. Add the garlic, but don't let the garlic brown and saute another couple of minutes.

Add the rest of the chopped veggies, sauteing for another minute or two. Add the thyme and salt and pepper while sauteing. Add broth.

Continue to simmer in the pot until the veggies are tender or transfer to a crock-pot, and cook on low 7-9 hours or 4-6 hours on low (timing may differ, depending on your crock pot).

Waiting

Today I'm working from home (really I am!), except for the hour I went to the local Star.bucks (I had fruit juice) so Mr. Jem could have some privacy to do "his thing" and then make a deposit at the clinic for tomorrow's ER. Yes, it's weird that he's doing this the day before ER, but we're just following doctor's orders. Mr. Jem performed like a trooper! 

Yesterday's monitoring results:

• Right Follicles: 17, 14, 15, 19, 19, 13, 18, 16,17, and 20 mm respectively
• Left Follicles:  10, 20, 13, 17, 11, 12, 14
• E2 = 2,937
• P = 1.56

Our sonographer was so confident that we would trigger that night that she pledged, "If you don't trigger tonight, I'll eat my Dans.kos!" Luckily she didn't have to!

I feel very "full" and am glad to be home, working where I can be comfortable. I'm making a big pot of veggie soup, made with fresh veggies bought yesterday at the local farmers' market. Yum!

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary, so after trigger, and drying my eyes, we went to a local restaurant to "celebrate" our love (sans alcohol, bien sur!)! 7 happy years of marriage and things are only getting better!

Mr. Jem, I love you!

~Jem