Thursday, December 9, 2010

I wanna be a MI.LF!

The following scene played out in the kitchenette at work.

Her: Oh, Jem, you look nice today.
Me: Thanks. I'm going to the company holiday party after work and wanted to dress up.
Her: Oh, I won't be making it. 
Me: Going home to the baby?
Her: Yay. Enjoy the freedom!
Me: Enjoy the baby.

I'm not making this up. This woman has no idea of our struggle to conceive. She was jealous of me being able to go to the dumb corporate event. I would trade anything to be in her shoes, going home to a baby.

Then I noticed how slim she is. She gave birth mere months ago? How does she do it? Is it a fertile only thing? Made me realize I may never be a MI.LF. I'll be too old (Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get my point.

Oh, and here is my updated calendar:
  • Hum.ira injection 12/15, 12/29
  • Last pill 12/31
  • Estradiol & ultrasound @ Z clinic1/2
  • Start micro dose injections 1/3
  • Start fsh injections 1/5
  • Intralipid infusion 1/6
  • Estradiol, prolatin, NK, TH & ultrasound @ Z clinic 1/11
  • Estimated retrieval 1/15-1/18 
  • Estimated transfer 1/18-23
~Jem

8 comments:

TeeJay said...

I agree, I'd give up my freedom for a child, too. I've had enough freedom...chain me down! :-) The calendar looks great...nothing but best wishes coming your way!

Kakunaa said...

I have fertile friends who put on tons of weight and it took them ages to lose it. I think your original metabolism plays a big part. That is a crazy calendar! Good luck!

lowfatlady said...

Some people have all the luck. You can still could be a milf, you never know ;)

Jill said...

Best of luck with the plan! I can't believe some moms. She just had her baby and she's already bored? I can't wait to go home to my five month old every day! This is just more evidence of a point I have been blogging about recently!

callmemama said...

Ugh, I hate the "enjoy your freedom" comments! As if being chained to the couch with endo was so enjoyable anyway...
Complaining about your kids, complaining about your husband - it's a very socially acceptable thing, almost expected. So weird.
Here's hoping you can skip next year's company party!

Poppet said...

On behalf of mothers who make these insensitive comments, I promise you she wasn't saying it to brag or be hurtful. As she has no idea of your situation, she probably has no knowledge that she said something that caused you pain.

For new moms, isolation and guilt are a huge problem. I remember feeling like I was the only woman in my office who had ever had a baby (in fact, I was). My boss made tons of insensitive comments: "How could you do this to me!" when I told her I was pregnant! The pressure for Moms to be just as committed as the non-mom co-workers is great, to miss an "important" work event (not important to you, but perhaps important to her boss who may see this as a kind of "face time" and missing it an implicit sign that her career doesn't come first), may be affecting her as well. She may need the money and in hard economic times, maybe missing the party is a bigger deal than it seems at first glance.

The truth is that there is a lot of discrimination against Moms in the working world. Especially new moms. And with all the hormones, it is hard for women to keep it all together. (Just as you have admitted trying hard not to cry, she may be doing the same thing for different reasons). Many women feel subpar _both_ at work and at home ("leaving your kid for others to raise", "Why have kids if you can't take care of them" etc. etc.). The "enjoy your freedom" may have come from a genuine, albeit inappropriate, place. Please don't take negative meaning into her words. She may miss holiday parties. I have to admit I miss seeing my bosses after one too many, too.

We women are constantly and unintentionally hurting one another. Please don't let her comment ruin your day. Since she doesn't know your situation, it isn't fair to either of you.

A better comment would have been, a simple "have fun". To which you could have said "You too!" And opened up to her if you so wanted.

I'm sorry to be the voice of descent. I'm ready for the inevitable attack.

You know I love you even when your readership hates me.

womb for improvement said...

The way I feel at the moment I'd just be happy to be and I.I.L.F (Infertile I Like to etc) these drugs are doing nothing for my sex drive!

barrenchemist said...

I hate when people think like that. I hate when people complain about their kids too. I would trade any of that!!