Tuesday, November 30, 2010

CD1: IVF#3 here we come!!!!!!!

Okay, gang, it's officially Cycle Day One. Here we go, IVF#3. You ready? I am!! 

Let me grab my checklist:
  • BCP? Check!(oh, the irony never ceases to amaze me)
  • Hum.ira prescription? Being delivered today, so: check! 
  • All I need to do is call the Z Clinic to set up my baseline ultrasound / antral follicle count for day 2 or 3.
  • I'll have the uncomfortable conversation this weekend with my parents to remind them they promised to help us financially with this OOP cycle (my insurance has a lifetime maximum for fertility treatment). Mr. Jem's parents have already pledged $$ towards the grandchild fund.
 Yes, we are really doing this.

~Jem

Monday, November 22, 2010

November IComLeavWe

Welcome new readers!

So glad you stopped by my little blog. I missed ICLW last month, so I'm very glad to be back on board!

A little about me: 40 yo, just about to embark on IVF #3 with a new doctor and a new clinic. IVF#2 was a total bust - BFN and no frozen embies. IVF#1 was more hopeful: chemical pregnancy from the fresh cycle and something similar for the frozen. I had great embies the first IVF and am looking to get even more for #3. Plus, I'm going to get extra treatment for my recently diagnosed immunological and other issues (Natural Killer cells, MTHFR genetic mutation) - all this was enlightening, given our original diagnosis was male factor only. I'm spending this cycle psyching myself up for the upcoming IVF.

Here's my November IComLeavWe question:

What's your favorite (helpful or not) fertility advice you've gotten. 

Mine? I've cut out or limited almost all gluten, sugar, dairy and sugar in preparation for my next IVF. I've lost 10 lbs and feel great! 

What about you?

~Jem

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Need a laugh?

Read this blog.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

~Jem

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Moving forward

After the shock of hearing that we only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant last week, I mourned. I guess this is the first time that I considered the fact that we may not have a biological child.

Thank you for the encouraging words. I can't tell you how much it means to me to receive your kind words and to give me a reality check. Yes, you are right. Most couples only have a 20% chance of conceiving any given month (granted, they don't pay $20K for the privilege).

So, we have decided to move forward with IVF #3. Give it a go, 100%. I'm willing to do this. We'll be starting in December.

Only other hurtle to jump: genetic counseling #2 (mandated by Dr. Z).

~Jem

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

20%

I was just informed by my doctor that my chance of having a successful pregnancy, given my age (40-42) is 20%. We'll be paying close to $20K for a 20% chance of getting pregnant, "if we treat the immunological factors that we have identified as they may well have caused a problem with implantation in your previous transfers."

Dear G-d in heaven.

Think I'll go check out some adoption blogs for inspiration...

~Jem

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Waiting 'til Dec to cyle

Small part of me wants to start now, the other wants to wait. Actually, the majority wants NOT to do it all, thinks it's terribly unfair and wants its mommy.

Sigh.

Hate FB?

Infertile? Hate Face.book? You must read this post. Hilarious!

Still haven't called Dr. Z's clinic to make my day 3 u/s appointment to get IVF #3 going. Am I just chicken? Or is waiting until Dec better?

Why am I torturing myself like this?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

CD 1: starting a new IVF? or waiting another month?

I'm baaaaaack!

CD 1 strikes again and, as promised, I'm back. This time armed with more information.

Working with a new RE, Dr. Z, across the bay from where I live. He believes in doing lots of testing. The results are in:

I tested positive for MTHFR gene mutation A1298C - yes, the dreaded F*th*rf*ck*r gene mutation!!!!  Dr. Z. prescribed baby.asparin (81 mg) and Fol.gard to help with absorption of Folic acid.

He does special immunological testing. Results are also in:
Positive for NK - Natural Killer cells and TH1 / TH2 intracellular cytokine. He will put me on Fem.ara (after I have a TB test done) and do intralipid injections at transfer.

Needless to say, I'm going out of my frickin' mind.

Part of me is relieved to know WHY our perfect embryos didn't take for IVF #1 along with the FET. The other part just wants to crawl under a rock and cry like a baby ---- Why me???!!!!!!! Why is this happening? Why can't this be easy?

I know I'm not alone in receiving this diagnosis. I'd love to hear your stories (especially your happy endings) and get advice. 

I don't feel especially ready to start this cycle. I'm not getting any younger tho. Do I just jump right in? Or do I wait a cycle to "digest" all this?

Jem