Giddy

I am feeling sooooooo good today, almost giddy. I wonder what the reason is? Could it be the joy of having my parents come visit - I love spending time with my mom, just cooking with her is one of those "happiness is..." moments.

Yesterday we added the Gono.relix shot. No problem. Despite the Meno.pur (evil) burn, I like doing the shots because I'm actually "Doing Something!" I'm sure many of you can totally relate.

At the clinic we discussed the fact that we're not doing Ovi.drel shot for a trigger this time. Instead we are doing a purer form of HCG. I like this, even if it means mixing the drugs instead of the pre-made syringe.

I'm "working from home" today, which means doing emails mixed with a walk with my parents, a conference call, then lunch, then more emails. You know the drill.

The folks just left. They borrowed my car and are driving up to Anderson Valley for my uncle's memorial service (I'll tell that horrible story another post). It's 4 hours each way and I opted out for a couple of reasons. 1) I have a monitoring appointment tomorrow and 2) I don't want to be in a car for 8 hours tomorrow. My ovaries are getting that warm feeling and I'm starting to feel "full" down there. Plus, I'm not that close to that aunt and uncle and my folks will "represent" the family just fine.

Oh, and 3) my neighbors, who have become friends (we go out to dinner with them, etc.) are moving and another neighbor is hosting a small BBQ for them at 5 p.m. We really want to be there. (Does that make me a bad person?)

So, back to this feeling giddy. I think it might be *HOPE* (gasp! What? Dare we HOPE that this cycle works? Could we?) Yes, boys and girls, hope is in the hizzy!

Welcome back, Hope!

~Jem

Outrageous Fertile comment of the month (updated)

Yesterday, office birthday bash. I'm cutting the cake. A woman, who I thought was my friend, is giving me hard time about how I'm cutting the cake. I rib her back until this comment:

Her: "You don't know how to cut cake, you don't have any kids."

Me: Really?

Inside I'm thinking, "Thanks for rubbing it in, be-atch. I told you we are working on it. Thank you soooooooooo much!"

***

Other fertility horror story: I seem to have roped myself into hosting a friend's baby shower on Saturday. The woman who was supposed to host has the flu and bad. Last weekend I casually volunteered to host if she didn't feel better in time. Unfortunately, she's not feeling better. That will learn me for being nice.

What have I done?!!!!!!! I must be insane!!!!!!!!!

BTW, anyone have any good baby shower games that aren't too inane or demeaning? I really, really need your help here!

Jem

Update:

Thanks for all the excellent ideas. My first instinct was "no games, but I think I will include some sort of game because it's a group of women who gather regularly to play games (Bananagrams, Boggle, Scrabble, etc.). I really like the ideas from Classy Chaos that lis suggested. Who doesn't like Mad Libs?!

I also think it will be good for me to have some sort of activity I can concentrate on that won't have me fixating on this woman's baby bump.

Only one of my friends IRL who will be there know about our TTC and ART. I'd like to keep it that way.

Good news: My HCG is down to 28 and I've been given the green light to drink 2 weeks after my MTX injection, which will be Saturday! I've never had Bourbon Slush, but it sounds divine. I haven't met a bottle of Bourbon I haven't like - big fan of the Old Fashioned and the Manhattan...

Miracle ectopic pregnancy becomes twins! (Updated)

Okay, not exactly.

Seems my pregnancy isn't ectopic. Today I had an u/s and Dr. W saw a spot that looks like a tiny sac, so it seems my pregnancy was in the ute, but so slow growing to not be normal.

(The animal part of my brain cried out, "you killed my baby, Dr. W!" even thought I know the embryo couldn't be normal as it doubling time was a week, rather than 48 hours.)

Still waiting for the results of my HCG. Hopefully the number will finally be coming down.

As I left, and needed to pay, the woman at the desk said, "Oh, you're having twins?!"

"I beg your pardon?!!" was my response.

"Dr. W marked 'U/S with 2 sacs' ...

I just started laughing. "Um, no. We thought it was ectopic, but he did see one tiny empty sac today."

Great! My pregnancy went from ectopic to a multiple in the blink of an eye! If only it was that easy!

Jem

Update: HCG is 294. Have to have a CBC done tonight and go back to the clinic tomorrow for a nurse to re-administer the Metho.trexate. Oh joy (not so much).

Beta

Rather than doing yet another update to the last post, thought I'd start fresh.

Went to my 10:30 a.m. appointment at the clinic. There I was, legs up in the stirrups, when this woman comes in who I've never met before. "Where's Dr. W?" I asked.

"Your mock transfer was moved onto my schedule." She answered.

Oh, okay.

I then explain about the craziness with the HPT. Her response, "Do you want to do an HCG test? I don't want to go in there with a catheter if there's something going on." (Her exact words).

I look at Mr. Jem, shrug and say, "Um I guess." Now, the probability of us getting PG without IVF is very, very low, as Mr. Jem's sperm count was 8 last time. Not 8 million. Eight. Period.

All the same, I got dressed and went to draw blood. I should know early this afternoon. If it's negative, we'll reschedule the topography session (mapping how to get the catheter comfortably up me) for next week.

Had a "very interesting" chat with our IVF nurse. After looking at the calendar, we wouldn't be doing the FET the week of Dec 28th after all. The absolute earliest it would be is Jan 4. Looks like all that deliberation we did (read this post) was for naught. The good news is that Dr. W is available that week to do the transfer. But who's to say who will actually show up. These clinics run to best serve their own schedules, never mind what WE want.

In any case, fingers crossed for the beta results. I hate to hope too much... I do feel much better after having taken the beta.

Oh, and one more thing:
Cost of the two types of HPTs: $32.60
Cost of the beta at the clinic: $55 minus what's covered by my insurance = $1.78
Peace of mind: priceless.
If only I could add: "BFP: priceless."

Someday...

*sigh*

Beta day: waiting

Thought I saw some spotting first thing this morning, but nothing more.

Blood drawn for HCG test at 7:00 a.m.

Waiting. Phone call from center expected around 1 p.m.

Ready for either outcome. No energy to write more. Holding it all in.

I'll update when I have news.

Jem

Update: No, I have not POAS. Too chicken. Couldn't take a false positive.