Truly the best mothers day ever. My parents are here visiting. I
couldn't ask for more help and support. And I totally need it. I live in
a strange twilight world, feeding her, changing her, gazing at her tiny
features, drinking her very presence up every moment. I have no time
for anything else. My life before included work (commute, intellectual
and adult conversation, challenges), blogging,
commenting on your blogs, reading books, enjoying a slew of favorite TV
shows, cuddling my cat, sleep.
No more.
My
world now: lack of sleep, deep gratitude, abject terror that something
horrible will happen to little Rosie. At her two week Pediatric checkup
last Thursday she still wasn't back up to her birth weight (she'd lost
13% of her weight), so I've been pumping 4 times a day (during the day -
can't face those fiendish, always hungry cones at night) to supplement
her sleepy breastfeeding. What do I mean, sleepy? Instead of nursing for
20 minutes, she lingers for around an hour, lazily nursing and just
enjoying herself. Let's just say that if you have to nurse every two or
three hours and one hour of that time is the nursing, plus another 10
for burping and changing, then 15 for pumping and 10 for cleanup, going
pee, that doesn't leave much time for "just sleep when baby does." I'm
exhausted, folks. Grateful, happy, terrified with a twinge of bored
thrown in. Please don't judge me. It's just that this cycle goes on and
on and on.
The good news is that I have this wonderful gift. Rosie.
(This is from 10 days ago, but gives you an idea of her cuteness)
Okay, better get back to it. Birth story to follow, eventually.
~Jem.
