Our memorial day was capped off by a visit to my husband's father's graveside, for the unveiling of his headstone (a Jewish tradition). Very moving to see the beautiful cemetary in the summer, all green and gorgeous, rather than under 4 feet of snow like we saw it last in Feb when we buried him. It was a short ceremony (20 min), with those present speaking about H (my FIL) and the impact he had on our lives and how we would remember him, then the reading of a poem (I'll post it soon, as it's very applicable to IF loss) and a prayer in Hebrew.
Husband's sister freaked out and refused to come because the service wasn't when she wanted it to be (it's been planned for a month and half) and we wouldn't change it last minute to accommodate her. We flew out to the East Coast for a friend's wedding in NJ (we had blast) and Mr. Jem wanted to have the unveiling on Memorial Day, because his father was a veteran and it's the only time we'll be out here in MA this summer. In her anger, my SIL told her mother to F-off, insulted my husband, calling him lazy and selfish and I had the pleasure of being called an "f'ing c-word" (but the two actual words) for the first time in my life, even though I had nothing to do with the whole situation. Every time we come to Massachusetts to visit we have drama with her. 12 years of this crap. Mr. Jem is cutting her off. I wonder how long this will last. If I ever see my SIL again, I'll be sure to show her what real "c*nt-y" behavior is like. "Oh, hi, L, have you gained weight?" Then I'll ignore her. (Okay, I probably won't say those things, but I do expect an apology before I ever see her again).
Despite the drama we went ahead with the ceremony, then had Chinese food at my FIL's favorite restaurant. It was lovely. Mr. Jem has only recently really begun mourning his father's loss. If you remember, we lost him the same week we learned that our third and last IVF failed back in February.
I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day.
~Jem