De-lurking...

I want to ask a favor from those of you that joined me while my blog was private.

I'm ready to take my blog public again. I've deleted the most sensitive posts and would like to move on to the next chapter of my life. Mr. Jem and I are working on hard on making our marriage healthy.

I'd need your help, though. I'd like not to refer to the dark time in June. It's just too painful and we need to move on from that.

Hope you can understand and will join forces with me to move to a new era, full of hope and understanding.

Thanks,

~Jem

Vacation plans?

Nothing really new to report. 

Mr. Jem and I are planning out our next vacation. I want to go to the Caribbean in the winter months, he wants to take his mom on an Alaska cruise. 

Where are you going on vacation (or holiday, as they say on the other side of the pond)? If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Here?

 Here?

or here?

~Jem

Remembering

Our memorial day was capped off by a visit to my husband's father's graveside, for the unveiling of his headstone (a Jewish tradition). Very moving to see the beautiful cemetary in the summer, all green and gorgeous, rather than under 4 feet of snow like we saw it last in Feb when we buried him. It was a short ceremony (20 min), with those present speaking about H (my FIL) and the impact he had on our lives and how we would remember him, then the reading of a poem (I'll post it soon, as it's very applicable to IF loss) and a prayer in Hebrew.

Husband's sister freaked out and refused to come because the service wasn't when she wanted it to be (it's been planned for a month and half) and we wouldn't change it last minute to accommodate her. We flew out to the East Coast for a friend's wedding in NJ (we had blast) and Mr. Jem wanted to have the unveiling on Memorial Day, because his father was a veteran and it's the only time we'll be out here in MA this summer. In her anger, my SIL told her mother to F-off, insulted my husband, calling him lazy and selfish and I had the pleasure of being called an "f'ing c-word" (but the two actual words) for the first time in my life, even though I had nothing to do with the whole situation. Every time we come to Massachusetts to visit we have drama with her. 12 years of this crap. Mr. Jem is cutting her off. I wonder how long this will last. If I ever see my SIL again, I'll be sure to show her what real "c*nt-y" behavior is like. "Oh, hi, L, have you gained weight?" Then I'll ignore her. (Okay, I probably won't say those things, but I do expect an apology before I ever see her again).

Despite the drama we went ahead with the ceremony, then had Chinese food at my FIL's favorite restaurant. It was lovely. Mr. Jem has only recently really begun mourning his father's loss. If you remember, we lost him the same week we learned that our third and last IVF failed back in February.

I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day.

~Jem

Still kicking...

I'm still alive, friends. Been wrapped up in work, travel and just living my life. I promise to post more later to catch you all up and to get back to commenting. I miss you guys!!!

~Jem

Bring it!

One of the blogs I follow (hi Sarah!) just received their adoption placement. The cutest little boy. So I retract everything I said on Sunday about considering living childless. This is a battle I'm determined to win! Now to get a battle plan ready... donor IUI? donor embryos, donor eggs AND sperm? Adoption?

Bring it on!

~Jem

Nothing

Nothing to report, but thought I'd just pop by and say hi. I apologize for not posting or commenting much. Haven't had time. It's crazy-time at work and actually it's been a bit of a relief not to be wrapped up in all things IF. Of course, my heart is still weeping at the thought of never becoming parents, and it wrenches each time I see a little one, baby, infant, toddler, pre-schooler, and on and on. Looking forward to next week's Adoption Agency Open House.

~Jem

CD1 + Revelation!

Uggh. It's CD1 and I felt like such crap that I left work and I'm officially working from home the rest of the day.

This article explains MFI. At last we have an indicator! Ladies, get out your tape measures!

/quote

Size really does matter for male fertility…just not the way you think

Alasdair Wilkins — As far as male fertility is concerned, length really is important...except the length in question isn't the one you're thinking about. The crucial distance is actually the length between scrotum and anus. Yes, it's all about the taint.

In what has to go down as one of the most heroic scientific experiments ever, University of Rochester researcher Shanna Swan measured the taint length of 126 men born after 1987. The average anus-to-scrotum distance is two inches, and according to this study, you do not want to be below average.
Swan and her team found that men with below average taints were 7.3 times more likely to have low sperm counts than their above average counterparts, and the sperm they did have was not as well-formed as those belong to men with longer anus-to-scrotum distances. And why is all this happening? Well, we do know that men have taints that are roughly twice as long as those of women, suggesting a longer taint correlates with greater virility and male fertility.
Honestly, all I can really think to do here is to remember this slightly NSFW Mr. Show classic, which I can't help but think has much to teach us about the topic at hand.
Environmental Health Perspectives via Discoblog.

/unquote

~Jem