CD1: take 2

Okay, I thought yesterday would be CD1, but I was wrong. Just rusty spotting. Today looks the same. I've already made my antral follicle count appointment with Z Clinic for tomorrow... Might need to reschedule unless AF shows up. Pronto. I'm surprised it's not here already. Monday I had my typical PMS headache and moodiness. (No, I'm not PG, physically impossible!!!!)

Went to my local Resolve meeting yesterday. It was a little hard to be around so many people who are struggling with IF. Three of the six people there were embarking on donor egg cycles after 4 or 5 IVFs . One had lost her fetus at 21 weeks to a fluky infection. The other was contemplating living child-free. Egad. And then there was me, embarking on IVF #3, trying to stay hopeful. Gulp.

So, I need your positive thoughts - for this cycle, for AF to come in earnest now. 

Thank you all for your warm welcome back. I will be blogging and commenting much more now that I'm cycling.

I have a secret, too

Others have posted this article from Self Magazine on their blogs. For those of you who read this blog and are lucky enough to be able to conceive and carry a baby easily, it will give you an insight into infertility and the huge emotional toll it takes.

Part of me wishes I was more open about our struggles with our IRL friends / colleagues at work. One of the few local friends I have told is just not that interested in talking about it, maybe it makes her uncomfortable, maybe she's just so self-absorbed that it doesn't even occur to her to ask how I am feeling. We decided not to tell most of our friends, because we didn't want the pitying glances or the "So, how are you?" veiled questions that really mean, "So, did it work? Are you pregnant?"

Luckily I  do have the support of our close families AND my college girlfriends. AND all my bloggy friends! Love you!

~Jem