tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post1286319399329984440..comments2023-11-05T01:45:09.420-07:00Comments on Ambition: Motherhood: "Rub dirt on it"Jemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10480192191711301637noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-44679700020264249962011-12-28T20:20:16.014-08:002011-12-28T20:20:16.014-08:00I'm so, so sorry your mom didn't come thro...I'm so, so sorry your mom didn't come through for you. My parents (at least until my dad's death) had always been the opposite - they tried to be too involved in my life, telling me every move I should make in my life. I wish it was easier for our parents to reach a middle ground. I hope that, once your daughter is here, your mom will find a way to be there for you in a better way.<br /><br />ICLW #60Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07920969824307697368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-78789899865931398312011-12-24T08:38:10.838-08:002011-12-24T08:38:10.838-08:00my mother in law isnt exactly warming up to me ver...my mother in law isnt exactly warming up to me very nicely, sometimes i wonder if havin a kid will change that, im hoping it will.<br />so i understand how ur feelingJaytonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14524960845221070244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-45331778174460036662011-12-23T13:36:18.621-08:002011-12-23T13:36:18.621-08:00magical spells really work!! I never thought there...magical spells really work!! I never thought there were still honest, genuine, trustworthy and very powerful spell casters until i met the spiritual helper, MERUJA OWO. last week he did a love spell for me and it worked effectively and now he just casted another healing spell for my friend who has fibroid and family problem and now she is totally free and she is presently the happiest person on earth, she keeps thanking me all day..<br />I just thought it would be good to tell the whole world about his good work and how genuine he is, i wasn't thinking i could get any help because of my past experiences with other fake casters who could not bring my husband back to me and they all promised heaven and earth and all they are able to do is ask for more money all the time until i met with this man. he does all spells, Love spells, money spells, lottery spells e.t.c i wish i can save every one who is in those casters trap right now because i went though hell thinking and hoping they could help me.i recommend MERUJA OWO for any kind of help you want.<br />his email address is: nativedoctor101@live.com<br />if you want to ask me anything my e-mail is: jannet_madeson@yahoo.com<br />Kind Regards,jannet watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12523785879543385310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-25034691681414859232011-12-23T08:10:00.096-08:002011-12-23T08:10:00.096-08:00I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how frustrate...I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how frustrated and disappointed you must feel. I can't help but wonder, though, if a physically close but still selfish and self-involved grandmother might not be what you really want in your daughter's day-to-day life. I'm sorry that you're sad. :-(Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00420841652300294215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-83677440785626034102011-12-21T19:45:02.508-08:002011-12-21T19:45:02.508-08:00You hit so close to home here. My parents are Fli...You hit so close to home here. My parents are Flighty McFlightersons who say they want to be here for BabyBoy but do absolutely nothing to make that happen. Even though they are in control of their own schedules and could have the means to visit often if they chose to not blow 99% of their money.<br /><br />It's hard. Part of me wants to rail and say "screw you!" but, after many years, and in spite of this issue, I finally have a decent grown-up relationship with my parents. And I don't want to lose that. So I guess I'll just rub dirt on it and take them as they are...<br /><br />...until the day my son is confused because Grandma and Grandpa are crying to him about how much they miss him, but are obviously making choices to the contrary.<br /><br />Then we will have some words. They can screw me over, I'm used to it - but my kid? Different story.<br /><br />In the meantime, I've learned to not put too much faith or trust into when they say they're going to do something. Which is shitty, but it's what I have to do. We can talk and shoot the breeze and have fun, but when it comes to really needing something.... well, I have Hubby and I've made my own "chosen family" of friends for that.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02571149055152186880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-59987718539887183182011-12-21T17:17:10.740-08:002011-12-21T17:17:10.740-08:00Here from ICLW.
I too have a very difficult relat...Here from ICLW.<br /><br />I too have a very difficult relationship with my mother. Since I was a child, she's felt this need to compete with me. Growing up, I was always fatter, my boobs were always smaller, she was faster, she was smarter, etc, etc. Every celebration that focused on me was ruined because she couldn't handle it (to this day I hate my birthday). And there was always hell to play if I pointed out the lunacy of the situation. After many years of therapy, I'm finally moving forward with my life. But not without some deep scars.<br /><br />I'm very sorry your in a situation where you need to parent your mother. It sucks and is completely unfair. But considering what she put you through as a child, I would be cautious. Anyone who exposes a child to an abusive situation is dealing with some severe mental disabilities.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-80075355296265619432011-12-21T12:39:58.725-08:002011-12-21T12:39:58.725-08:00I'm really, really sorry. That's so tough...I'm really, really sorry. That's so tough.<br /><br />The best thing I have ever heard about this sort of thing is to think about it as you have two chances in life to have a great parent-child relationship. One of those is when you are the child, and sometimes that doesn't work out based on the parent. You don't have control there. Your other chance is when YOU are the parent--that one you have control over! So putting most or all of your focus on making that a great relationship, and less of your focus on creating the relationship you wish you had with your mom (which is unfixable, because she is who she is) is the one thing you can do to bring happiness.<br /><br />The other thing is to realize that she probably has something wrong with her in that she could leave a three year-old child. I mean, as in something wrong with her brain. I have an eight month-old daughter and would give my life for her in an instant. Any parent who wouldn't do that just has a disorder. So maybe look at her that way too; she just has a mental disability that can't be fixed. Kind of like if she were paralyzed you wouldn't keep trying and hoping to convince her to get up from her wheelchair and walk.JNShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799262460739491238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-75135275416047844622011-12-21T12:38:55.245-08:002011-12-21T12:38:55.245-08:00I'm so sorry to hear this. I dealt with a sim...I'm so sorry to hear this. I dealt with a similar emotional situation with my father (though not as scary of a situation). I have no great advice because I've dealt with it by not dealing with it and haven't spoken to him (except for the odd card here and there that brings it all back) for 20 years. <br /><br />I agree with pp that it is worth reminding yourself that it is her loss.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05382638658909144208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-26461208922029536032011-12-21T09:25:07.640-08:002011-12-21T09:25:07.640-08:00Oh, Jem, I'm so sad for you reading this. Hav...Oh, Jem, I'm so sad for you reading this. Having had my own issues with a self-centered, me-first mother over my lifetime (WAY too long to go into here), I feel for you.<br /><br />It's worth reminding yourself that your mom is the one who will be missing out if she chooses to ignore her own mother's words of wisdom.<br /><br />How do I deal with things like this? The only thing that's helped me with my mom is to accept that this is the way she is and to not expect normal "motherly" behavior from her. (I sort-of think of her as a fun, kooky maiden aunt, rather than as my parent.)<br /><br />{{{hugs}}}Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08872513410814268769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2306202511573901064.post-73710476967904975272011-12-21T09:06:04.111-08:002011-12-21T09:06:04.111-08:00Wow.
My father is much like your mom. It's...Wow. <br /><br />My father is much like your mom. It's all about him. And while I've let go of any illusions that he could change, my brother hasn't. He listens to every promise with the utmost belief that my dad will be there. <br /><br />I understand wanting a mom who is there and understands you. I do. I still wait for my mom to change and she isn't half as crazy as my dad. But in the meantime, I've had to learn to find the love and respect of new people in my life to stand in for the dysfunctional parents I was given. It's not easy.<br /><br />I'm so glad you shared this. xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com